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This is the mental health hotline. If you have obsessive compulsive disorder press 1 repeatedly. If you have co-dependant ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If your delusional press 7 and the call will be brought back to the mothership. And if you have a fidget disorder, fidget with the hash key until someone picks up.

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Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone]. Due to the current pandemic, our team members are working remotely and are available [Monday through Friday from 9am to 7pm Eastern Standard Time]. Please leave a message with your name, number, and how we can serve you. We will respond as promptly as possible. Thank you for your patience during this unprecedented time. Let’s get through this together. Stay safe and well.
I finally got an answering machine. But how does this useless thing work? Aah, the record button, which I already pressed. The light is on. I wonder why the machine is not working properly? I wonder what this button right here does… beep .

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If you know the extension of the person you are trying to reach, you may dial it at any time. For a company directory, press the star key.
4. "Hello, you've reached [your name and title]. I'm currently out on parental leave until [date]. In the meantime, please direct all phone calls to [alternate contact name] at [phone number] and emails to [email address]. Thanks, and I'll see you in [month you'll be back in the office]."

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A funny voicemail greeting is one of those things that seems like a good idea...until you hear it time and time again. For business and professional life, funny voicemail greetings just doesn't make sense. If you're expecting an important call, or trying to impress someone you certainly won't want them irritated by your voicemail message. Here are 5 examples of funny phone greetings, and why you shouldn't use them on your cell.
Types of Voicemail Greetings with Examples . Now that you know the different elements of greetings, let’s discuss the different types of greetings you can compose. The type of greeting would depend on whether it will be used for work or for your own personal device. Here are the different types: Business Voicemail Greetings

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Different businesses may require different types of greetings. This is the ultimate list that can work for a wide array of company messages.

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Sample Short Voicemail Greeting: Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I'll get back to you. Thank you. Sample Business Voicemail Greeting: Hello, you've reached [X company]. We can't take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information

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    Thanks for calling (our company). The office is currently closed. Office hours are 9am to 6pm, Eastern Time. Please leave a message at the tone and we'll call you back on the next business day. Thank you.

    17. Hi, this is [your name] at [X Business Name]. Our office is currently closed, but I’ll be back in the office at 9 a.m. tomorrow. Feel free to leave a message or send me an email at [email address], and I’ll get back to you as quickly as possible.
    We are excited to announce Video Conferencing is now available on Advanced and Enterprise Unlimited Minutes Plans. Perfect for connecting your remote teams and available on a range of devices.

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    Website: https://www.verizon.com/about/sites/default/files/documents/terms/vm_ug_midatlantic_v1r1_o.pdf

    "Thank you for calling [your business name]. Due to concerns for public health related to the COVID-19 Coronavirus, we have staff members working remotely and on shortened hours. We appreciate your patience as we reply to callers as efficiently as we can. Please note that our temporary office hours are [opening time to closing time]. Appointments scheduled through [end date] have been disrupted.
    2. IVR Scripts for Customers on Hold. If all your agents are busy, leaving customers unattended is the recipe for bad reviews about your business. This greeting can come in handy when your callers are on hold

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    When your business is closed for vacation or holidays, it’s imperative that you set appropriate expectations for a callback and to provide an alternative coverage option, if available. The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly.

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    By setting up a more thorough voicemail greeting, you can smartly route your calls and cut down on voicemail pile up. Considering a medical office answering service to help with overflow and after hours messaging? See how we can help.

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    Hello, this is (name). I am sorry I can’t come to the phone right now. Leave your name, number, and a short message after the beep. Oh and please do wait by the phone till I call you back. Bye.

    5.) Herzlich willkommen bei der Mustermann GmbH . Persönlich erreichen Sie uns Montags bis Freitags von 7:00 - 18:00 Uhr und Samstags von 10:00 - 13:00 Uhr. Falls Sie eine Bestellung aufgeben möchten oder eine Frage haben, dann nennen Sie uns bitte Ihren Namen, Kundennummer sowie ihre Telefonnummer, damit wir Sie zurückrufen können. Sie können uns auch jederzeit eine Email an [email protected] senden. Vielen Dank für ihren Anruf. Auf Wiederhören.
    -Hello, this is ________. I’m not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) OK, what would you like me to tell me?

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Jodi R.R. Smith from Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting and author of From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Woman and From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Man agrees that veterinary medicine is a profession where phone calls remain important and necessary. If you need to leave a voice mail message for a client, Smith offers these ideas on how to make the most of your message.

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Once you can accept that, getting a professional voicemail greeting or Auto Attendant menu recorded will be a lot easier. To help you get the right tone and tenor of what you’re trying to communicate over you business voicemail, we’ve put together this handy list of resources for you. Putting the “Pro” into Professional Voicemail Greetings

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For small businesses, there are a variety of voicemail service providers you can use that offer different features. From transcription and voice to text to more convenient features of handling multiple phones through one number, availability varies by service. Shared voicemail and call routing is intended for multiple access and directing calls to one or multiple phones. Mobile apps are also available that allow you to check your messages from your phone. The below infographic outlines the current state and trends of voicemails.

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