This is the mental health hotline. If you have obsessive compulsive disorder press 1 repeatedly. If you have co-dependant ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If your delusional press 7 and the call will be brought back to the mothership. And if you have a fidget disorder, fidget with the hash key until someone picks up.
Small business voicemail greeting examples. Creating a good voicemail greeting isn’t difficult, but creating a great one can be tricky. You don’t want to waste time, and you want to maximize the caller’s experience and exposure to your brand—all in about fifteen seconds and without making them hang up.

5. Away/Vacation Voicemail Greeting Samples. “Hello, this is [Name] at [Company.] I will be out of the office for the week of [dates]. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call, and I will reply within 24 hours of my return. If you prefer, you can try me on my cell, [number].
If you don’t know what to say in your voicemail, here’s a few pointers to get you started: Make sure that you’re not yelling into the phone and the message is recorded in a somewhat quiet area. If the message is for work, try to keep it professional and avoid mistakes, if possible. If you’re working in retail, apologize for not picking up and note that you will call them back. Regardless of your occupation, try to keep the message short. It shouldn’t be longer than 25 seconds. If the voicemail is personal, feel free to leave a silly, short message that lets the caller know it’s you.