“Hello, you’ve reached the confidential voicemail of Dr. Barb LoFrisco, CounselorBarb, a licensed mental health counselor, licensed marriage and family therapist and sex therapist. You may press # to bypass the remainder of this message. If you’d like to book an appointment, you can do so by using the “Schedule Appointment” button on the front page of my website, counselorbarb.com. If this is an emergency, please hang up and dial 211 for the crisis center or 911 for medical personnel. I am currently on the phone or in session, so please leave me a message. Your call is very important to me and will be returned within 24 business hours. If you are a current client please remember my 48 hour cancellation policy. Thank you for calling and I look forward to speaking with you.”
39 Humorous and Witty Voicemail Greetings. Oct 28, 2015. Jan 7, 2014 by Brandon Gaille. Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time.

10Hello, this is [your name]. I’m probably at home just avoiding someone I dislike. A funny way of telling someone you’re avoiding them without sounding offensive or having to pick their calls. Please speak very slowly, make it short, make it sweet, and I’ll deliver the message to them. Using other household appliances as stand-ins for the message center is cute and funny. This voicemail will warn callers not to bring drama, so you can save yourself the trouble of having to hear a message that was about to spoil your day.
If you’re going to start with a common statement such as ‘Your call is important to us’ and the other statements you have heard, your prospects are going to walk away.