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Website: https://spencercork.co.uk/2020/03/09/corionavirus-office-closed-recorded-message/

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16. "Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven't reached the Sorting Hat — it's the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I'll return your call as soon as possible."
Our previous post on funny voicemail greetings got so much attention, we thought we’d continue the hilarity with even more of your favorite greetings that you can use. Here’s the latest batch: I have nothing to say to you. So leave a message. “Think fast!” *beep* Hi, you’ve reached _____. .

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Make sure the recording is understandable Out of all your clients, the older ones are most likely to make an appointment by phone – that is why you have to be especially well-articulated when recording your message. There is nothing worse than a voicemail greeting that is unintelligible – avoid background noise as well.
Are you thinking about changing your voicemail greeting? Would you like some help from us? Set up a cranky, funny voicemail, and share a moment of laughter with your dear ones, before they understand your intention behind it and run to get you!

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Hello. Thank you for contacting [Business Name]. Unfortunately, we are not currently available at the moment. Our regular office hours are Monday through Friday, 8 am to 4 pm, closed during the weekend. Please leave a message along with your name and number, and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible.
3.) Herzlich willkommen bei Mustermann GmbH. Momentan können wir Ihren Anruf leider nicht persönlich entgegennehmen, oder Ihr Anruf erreicht uns außerhalb der Geschäftszeiten. Bitte hinterlassen Sie uns eine Nachricht mit Ihrem Namen und Rufnummer - Wir rufen Sie dann schnellstmöglich zurück. Vielen Dank und auf Wiederhören.

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When on vacation, provide your callers with a return date and a back-up contact person to accommodate emergencies. This prevents you from potentially damaging a valued relationship while you enjoy some time off.

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23. Hello, thank you for calling [business name]. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message, and a member of our team will return your call within 24 hours.

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    Hello, you have reached the law offices of X. Unfortunately, I am attending to another client right now, but I will return your call as soon as I can. Please leave me your name, reason for calling, and your number so I can connect you with the right department. This is far more professional than the other examples given in this guide. Lawyers should always be formal, smooth, and confident. Nobody is calling to make friends. They’re calling to get the job done. That’s why your message should be all business.

    3. 'It's a great day at ABC. This is XYZ, how can I... ' This is even less formal than saying good morning, being intentionally upbeat. It's a fun, surprising, and positive greeting, and it's hard for customers not to smile.
    The basic rule of thumb is that callers should hear one of two things when they first connect with your voicemail — either an apology for not being able to answer the call or a “thank you” for having called. You can do both if you prefer, but keep it short and to the point.

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    2. If you’re out of the office: “Good afternoon. You have reached the office of [your name]. I will be out of the office beginning on [date] and will be returning on [date].

    9. “Hey, it’s [your name] at [your company] – thanks for giving me a call! I can’t wait to chat. Just leave your name, number and I’ll call you back as soon as I have the chance. Better yet, send me a text with the best time to reach you and the reason for your call. Looking forward to hearing from you.” Text communication is becoming much more relevant now. Direct your caller to text you in case they have a question you can answer easier via text. Who knows, they might prefer text messages to phone calls too.
    Vanity toll free numbers (e.g., 1-888-CARLOAN) can help your customers remember your number, your brand, and your value proposition. It's a simple yet powerful marketing tool for any business. Cost: $15 one-time fee.

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    13Please repeat the captcha below [utter captcha] to confirm you are not a robot before being allowed to leave a message at [your name]’s voicemail. This is a great copy of the internet’s way of cracking down on spam and robots. Callers will be left repeating the captcha unknowingly. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you leave me a voicemail, then that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will call you. This is a classic line from the movie Taken (without the violence). Your callers will always get startled at the threat initially but will surely leave them in jitters as they drop a message in your voicemail. This is a classic trick and one that is both funny and frustrating. Watching people continue to speak as if you’re there is funny. Make sure they know when to leave a message though. You may also like 10 Great Templates: How to Say Thank You for Your Order to Customers

    Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, [insert office name] continues to operate remotely during our regular business hours (8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., Monday to Friday).
    If You've found this advice helpful, please consider a donation to help keep this type of assistance on-line and available.

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    I would highly recommend Sound Telecom on every level. First-class operation. Professional and responsive. Not one complaint or concern.

    When you want callers to leave a message, make sure your voicemail greeting indicates that. Be sure to keep your greeting short and direct, and include the info you want to capture.
    Hello! You’ve reached [Natasha on the Product Development Team at LinkedPhone]. I’m not available at the moment but your call is important to me. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call and I’ll call you back as soon as possible. Thank you and have a great day!

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15. "This is Bond. James Bond. Okay, it's really [your last name]. [Your first name] [your last name]. I'll get back to you as soon as I'm done helping M16 save the world — which will probably be tomorrow at the latest. Have a good day."

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IMHO, to have a professional sounding domain is just a requierement. But I clearly prefer if it have an easy-to-tell domain (in ocassions, I have said that it should be so easy to say as to being possible to tell by phone in a disco and your friend do not need to ask you to repeat it) and, if possible, very short.

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Will prospects even listen to my message, or will it just be deleted as soon as it's received? If my message is heard, what are my chances of getting a response? Shouldn't I just focus on email and forget sales voicemails altogether?

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What happens here is when you apologize and sound genuine in your tone, your prospects would understand and leave their contact details for you to follow with them.

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