Before we get into “Step-By-Step Guide to Custom On Hold Messages” it’s important to understand the value of having custom on hold messages for your brand. Business has always been done over the phone, and callers have always been put on hold, but as online shopping has surpassed brick and mortar traffic, over-the-phone sales have reached all time highs. A recent study by Marchex shows that Americans spent more than $1 trillion in mobile “click-to-call” commerce, and there was over 93 billion consumer-to-business phone calls from smartphones and this number is expected to grow to a whopping 162 billion by 2019, 70% of callers are placed on hold 62% of callers hang-up in less than 45 seconds 34% of callers who hang-up will never call back.
Regrettably for my purpose, the software requires that you add a "message on hold", which makes perfect sense for this devices intended purpose, if not for my own use. But I worked around the problem by recording a second of silence and then adjusted the software the effectively play only my cheesy elevator music.

If it is a genre, hold music, it's fair to say, is a troubled one with few hits. It's not really meant to be loved or even listened to — it's meant to communicate something specific: Don't hang up. (Cornell makes this plea specifically at the end of his song.) Silence is believed to be a death knell for phone calls — people will simply think the line is dead and hang up. This is true even on non-hold calls; it's why phone companies transmit something called a "comfort tone" over phone lines, a barely audible synthetic noise that signals a connection is still there.
To write a comedy script well, you need to be open with yourself and your audience. Write about your flaws as a company, and present them in a humorous light. The easiest way to start is to write about forcing people to stay on hold and joke about it.