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These are Funny Answering Machine tones from the Zedge app. Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone. When someone wants to leave you a voice message, they’ll hear this Comedy shit.

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“You’ve reach the company voicemail of Southside Lumber. Reach us daily from 9-7 to schedule a local delivery and ask about rates for large orders or specialty lumber. Leave your number to receive a call back when we open.”
44. Howdy, you’ve reached [X department] at [X company]. Our team is at this time out of the situation of job, but we’ll be cheerful to enable you to after we return. Flow away a hasty message that entails a callback quantity and a team member will reach out within one trade day. .

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Website: https://voxendo.com/en/professional-mobile-phone-message-examples-voicemail-texts-and-ideas/
2. Emphasized Importance. Making your caller feel important will make them more likely to leave a message for you. This opens the line of communication and helps keep them tethered to your business.

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After all, a professional voicemail recording boosts your credibility, makes you seem more competent, and encourages whoever's listening to it to continue the relationship.
Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use. Professional - Voicemail messages that you can use in an office or business setting. Short - Voicemail greetings that are quick and get straight to the point.

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A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So leave a message.

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    Holiday Messages for Businesses. If you’re struggling for the right words to use for holiday messages for businesses, take a look at the following best examples of holiday greeting for business owners so you can share your gratitude to those who have made the biggest impact on your business during the last 12 months and wish them a Merry Christmas.

    Voicemail greetings for business have to be very clear, precise, and to the point. Businessmen tend to avoid frivolous talks, so it is important that you stick to the basics. On the other hand, you can be funny or a little less formal while recording a voicemail for your friends and family. However, remember to adhere to voicemail etiquette while recording these greetings. So, this is where I sign out. Leave a message, I mean a comment if you like my voicemail greeting suggestions!
    You’ve reached the (name) family. We can’t answer your call right now. So why don’t you leave your name, age, sex, height, weight, phone number, a short message, your social security number, credit card number, how many kids you have, your mother’s maiden name, along with the date and time you called us. And if you’ve survived this message and are still listening, your message better be important.

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    Hello. (pause) Say something!! Aren’t you gonna talk at all? Why aren’t you saying something? Oh, I forgot. I need to say beep…

    16. “Hi, you’ve reached [company name]. Sorry, you just missed us! We’re open from ([hour] to [hour] [time zone]) Monday through Friday [optional: hour to hour on the weekends]. In the meantime, you can also visit our website [website URL] to reach out via live chat, text, or email [email address]. If you’d like to leave us a message, tell us your name, number, and reason for your call after the beep. We will give you a call back later on today.” Let your caller know your exact office hours so you skip the “phone tag”. They’ll appreciate knowing when to expect a return call. Just keep in mind that the timeframe should be realistic so you live up to customer expectations.Voicemail greetings for holidays
    7 hours agoSmall Business Voicemail Greeting Examples. 4. Hi, this is [your name]. I’m unable to take your call right now but leave your name and number, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. 5. Hi, this is [your name]. I can’t get to the phone right now, but please leave a message with your name and number, and I’ll get back to you as

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    While straightforward is always the safe bet, certain entities can go to the humorous side of voicemail greetings. Before taking this route, consider the type of callers and the persona the recipient is trying to convey. Since (insert name) isn’t available at the moment to take your call, but will promptly return it should you decide to accept your mission and leave your name and number, we have a very important question to occupy you in the meantime. Why did the chicken cross the road? Voicemail Greetings For Vacation

    5. “Hi, you’ve reached [company name]. We can’t take your call right now but we will call you back as soon as we’re available. Please leave your name, number and reason for your call. We know your time is precious, so to skip the back and forth, kindly leave a few different times of day that work best with your schedule and we will do our best to reach you then! Have a great day.” This greeting lets your caller know that not only your time is precious, but you realize theirs is as well.
    Please note that if you record an unavailable greeting, it will be used instead of the default message with your name recording.

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    Thank you for calling (business name). This office is closed due to inclement weather. We're normally open from 9am to 6pm Central time. Please call back on the next business day to insure we have re-opened. If this is an emergancy, press 3 for assistance

    We have created some best voicemail greetings that you and your business can use to give you an edge over your competitors. Here’s how the process looks like: IVR (optional) > Phone Rings > If the employee does not pick up > Your professional voicemail greeting (opportunity to cross-sell or tell them to drop their message).
    Whatever holiday voicemail greeting for business you decide to create for your office will definitely fall on your own personality, taste and environment. Just remember to follow some simple rules and to remain professional, you wouldn’t want to scare callers away without even a chance to speak to them directly! The Holidays offer a unique

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Hey, not here right now and not really interested in who this is, I’m out on a wilderness retreat learning about the importance of making connections.

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9. Verizon Visual Voicemail. This application has a minimalistic design and strictly defined functionality. When using Verizon Visual Voicemail, you get only voice mail and nothing extra.

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Of course, the absolute best thing you can have is an answering service. These services are completely customized to your company’s needs.

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-So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.

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