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These are Funny Answering Machine tones from the Zedge app. Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone. When someone wants to leave you a voice message, they’ll hear this Comedy shit.

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The Best Professional Voicemail GreetingsCheck out our tips on making sure your voicemail is ready for your next missed call!
Oh lord…is it you…again? Well, if you must, leave a name and number after the beep. I’ll try to return the call, if I can stand it, that is. .

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While straightforward is always the safe bet, certain entities can go to the humorous side of voicemail greetings. Before taking this route, consider the type of callers and the persona the recipient is trying to convey. Since (insert name) isn’t available at the moment to take your call, but will promptly return it should you decide to accept your mission and leave your name and number, we have a very important question to occupy you in the meantime. Why did the chicken cross the road? Voicemail Greetings For Vacation
Your clients don’t have a lot of time, and neither do you. Use the following short voicemail greetings to get to the point quickly and invite them to leave a message.

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We have extended our weekend hours for Friday and Saturday nights, now staying open until 9pm. Please hold while we connect your call. Terms of Use Professional Voice for Phone Recordings Payment for Services Home Voice Overs - Narration Voice Over Demos Small Business After Hours Voicemail Production Phone Recordings Contact � Callers can dial out of Auto Attendant or Voice Mail greetings. (Any valid system number) � Limit the number of choices you offer callers in a single menu. More that 4 or 5 choices will confuse your callers. And don't force them to wade through six menus before they reach the information they need. � Give callers an option first, followed by instructions on what key(s) to press to take action. � Instead of, for Sales press �1�, use the sales extension or sales group number this makes future changes easy. � Let callers know what keys to press to escape the Auto Attendant and reach someone �Live�. (always have this extension answered promptly) Thank you for calling (Company Name), you may dial your party�s extension at any time during this greeting, For the Sales Department dial 115, For the Accounting Department, dial 106. For the Service Department, dial 110. For all other departments or to speak with the attendant dial �0�. Or for the company directory, press 8. (No action rings the Attendant) Thank you for calling (Company Name), Our business hours are 08:00AM to 05:00PM Monday thru Friday. You may dial your party�s extension at any time during this greeting. For the company directory, press 8. Or remain on the line to leave a message (No action forwards to a general mailbox)
7. "Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and the reason you'd like to chat, and I'll get back to you ASAP.

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We could be in, we could be out. You could leave us a message and later find out.

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19. "Hello, you've reached [your name]. I'm currently [exploring Asia, hiking through the jungle in Costa Rica, hanging out on the beach in Bermuda] — or more likely, [recovering from extreme jet lag, googling ‘Are red spiders poisonous,' or looking for SPF 150 sunscreen] and won't be back in the office until [date]. Leave your contact info and reason for calling and I'll get in touch then."

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    Instead of leading with tired old lines like 'Your call is important to us', brush up on your telephone etiquette and start your voicemail with a thank you.

    We have extended our weekend hours for Friday and Saturday nights, now staying open until 9pm. Please hold while we connect your call. Terms of Use Professional Voice for Phone Recordings Payment for Services Home Voice Overs - Narration Voice Over Demos Small Business After Hours Voicemail Production Phone Recordings Contact � Callers can dial out of Auto Attendant or Voice Mail greetings. (Any valid system number) � Limit the number of choices you offer callers in a single menu. More that 4 or 5 choices will confuse your callers. And don't force them to wade through six menus before they reach the information they need. � Give callers an option first, followed by instructions on what key(s) to press to take action. � Instead of, for Sales press �1�, use the sales extension or sales group number this makes future changes easy. � Let callers know what keys to press to escape the Auto Attendant and reach someone �Live�. (always have this extension answered promptly) Thank you for calling (Company Name), you may dial your party�s extension at any time during this greeting, For the Sales Department dial 115, For the Accounting Department, dial 106. For the Service Department, dial 110. For all other departments or to speak with the attendant dial �0�. Or for the company directory, press 8. (No action rings the Attendant) Thank you for calling (Company Name), Our business hours are 08:00AM to 05:00PM Monday thru Friday. You may dial your party�s extension at any time during this greeting. For the company directory, press 8. Or remain on the line to leave a message (No action forwards to a general mailbox)
    Unexpected crises like COVID-19 can occur at any time. Here are a few example business voicemail scripts you can adapt for those unanticipated events. It’s important to incorporate key information that your clients need to know. You should also add a human touch by expressing your goodwill for them and their families.

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    11. “Hello! You’ve reached [company name] support line. We’ll be happy to help with your inquiry. In the meantime, have you checked out our [website, help forum, etc.]? It may have the answer you’re looking for. If not, leave your name, number and reason for your call. We’ll reach out to you within the day. Thanks for calling [company name].” Sometimes, a caller likes to find the answer to their own questions. Let them discover by directing them to your website or help forum if you have one.

    1. Set up voicemail online. The online voicemail Setup Wizard walks you through every step of setting up your voicemail. For more info about voicemail, check out the AT&T Phone for Business Voicemail (PDF, 6.28MB).
    5. Emergency Situation Voicemail Greeting. In the case that your business is closed due to an emergency, it's only worth it to go into detail if the problem is affecting everyone in the area.

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    1. The Welcome Greeting. This is the first greeting callers hear when they call your company. Sample Scripts: “Thank you for calling [company name].” “Thank you for calling [company name].

    3. Provide other ways to contact you or get information. Are there other ways your caller can get information about your business or contact you? Consider including your website or an email in your after-hours greeting.
    38. Thanks for calling [company name]. We’re unable to expend your name true now, but toddle away your details and we’ll name you true aid.

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    Just NowThe right business voicemail greeting also helps small-business owners stay on top of every customer interaction, present a professional appearance, and stay organized. What to say in your business voicemail greeting. Your voicemail greeting needs to provide customers with important information about your business.

    As a small business, it’s important to find ways to keep your customers engaged, even when you aren’t able to answer the phone. Though social media marketing and e-commerce are becoming more prominent, connecting to customers by phone is still a tried and true staple of the business world. Your voicemail greeting is an opportunity for you to engage with your customers, an …
    15. “Hello, you’ve reached the Sales Department at [Company name]. All of our representatives are currently helping clients [insert goal such as, ‘achieve 40% growth through streamlining HR’] and are unable to take your call. Instead of putting you on hold and taking up your valuable time, please leave your name, company, and phone number and we’ll give you a call back ASAP. Thank you!”

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Outline to A Great Voicemail Message It is not our recommendation to let any patient reach your voicemail but of course, we do not expect your office phones to be answered 24 hours a day. There are going to be times when people reach your message, whether they call at night or weekend. It is

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We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and Master Card, Visa, or American Express account number and we’ll get back to, pending credit approval.

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