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A word of warning: These greetings will not do you any favors if you’re in the midst of a job hunt or work in a conservative industry. Always remember your target personas. If there’s a chance they won’t appreciate your sense of humor, opt for a straightforward greeting instead. “This is Bond. James Bond. Okay, it’s really [your last name]. [Your first name] [your last name]. I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m done helping M16 save the world — which will probably be tomorrow at the latest. Have a good day.” “Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven’t reached the Sorting Hat — it’s the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I’ll return your call as soon as possible.” “Hello! You’ve gotten the voicemail of [your name]. Leave your name, contact info, and the answer to the eternal question ‘Which came first, the chicken or the egg?’ Anyone who gets it right will receive a call back.”

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Hi, this is [your name] of [your business]. I’m currently unable to take your call. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message, and I will contact you as soon as possible. Thanks.
5. Emergency Situation Voicemail Greeting. In the case that your business is closed due to an emergency, it's only worth it to go into detail if the problem is affecting everyone in the area.

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If they don’t leave a message, you’ll never know who called. Some people may assume they should just call back later. But if you prefer to get back to them at your leisure, encourage them to leave a message.
31. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’ll be out of the office from [start date] to [end date]. Please leave a message and I’ll return your call upon my return. Alternatively, you can email me at [email address] or call [name] at [phone number] for immediate assistance. Thanks for calling!

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4. Funny Voicemail Greetings. Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [X company]. We are busy trying to save the world by [what your company does best]. If you want to learn more about how we do it, please leave us your name and phone number, and we will get back to you as soon as our mission is complete— which should be fairly soon.

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1.) Welcome to John Doe. Unfortunately, there is no one in the office right now or your are calling outside of business hours. Please leave a message or send an email to [email protected]. Many thanks for your call.

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    8.) Herzlich Willkommen in der Service Abteilung der Mustermann GmbH. Leider sind im Augenblick alle Leitungen belegt. Bitte hinterlassen Sie nach dem Signalton eine Nachricht mit Ihrem Namen und Ihrer Telefonnummer. Wir rufen Sie baldmöglichst zurück. Wir wünschen Ihnen einen schönen Tag.
    I once made a voicemail message for myself with a buddy of mine. It was a standard greeting until I got to the "leave a message" part where I broke off and tried to unsuccessfully defend myself from a man with a knife. We used a watermelon for gory sounds as my buddy stabbed it close to the mic and I screamed and gargled.

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    If you’ve already created a custom voicemail on your iPhone, you can tap Play to see how your voicemail sounds. If you’re interested in creating a new message, tap the Custom button. From here, you can start recording your message by tapping Record and tapping Stop whenever you’re finished. Once you’re finished recording, tap on Play to make sure the message comes across as you’d like and hit Save (in the upper right) to save it as your voicemail.

    If the you haven't changed your personal greeting, a default system greeting will be played for callers. For example, "Please leave a message for John Smith. After the tone, please record your message. When you finish recording hang-up or press the pound key for more options."
    34. Howdy, right here’s [your name]. I’m at this time out of the situation of job celebrating [X holiday]. I’ll be aid on [X date], so toddle away a hasty message and I’ll be go to approach your name after I receive aid. Hold a cheerful [holiday]!

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    15. “Hi, Thanks for giving us a call! Sorry, but we are closed right now. Please leave us your name, number and the best time to reach you and we’ll get back to you within the day. Thank you.”

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    Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it’s not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does……

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    Happy [Monday!] You’ve reached [Jessica on the Business Development Team at LinkedPhone]. I’m presently out of the office [for a meeting until late this afternoon]. Please include your name, number and the reason for your call and I’ll get back to you ASAP. Thank you and have a fantastic day!

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7. "Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and the reason you'd like to chat, and I'll get back to you ASAP.

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To listen to your voicemail messages on an Android phone: Turn on your phone and open the Phone app. Call your voicemail system. Enter your voicemail system passcode. Tap the key that allows you to check messages. Listen to each message and tap the corresponding key to replay it, delete it, or save it. Press End Call when you're finished.

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24. Hello, you’ve reached [business name]. Every call is important to us, so please leave a brief message that includes your name and phone number so a member of our customer success team can call you back as quickly as possible.

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“Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [your company]. I’m unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘double their leads in 60 days,’ ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,’ ‘convert 40% more customers.’] Leave your name and number, and we’ll discuss how your company can see similar results.” “Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and reason you’d like to chat, and I’ll get to back to you ASAP.” “Hi, you’ve reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I’ll be in touch by EOD tomorrow. If it’s not urgent, leave me a message with your name and number. Have a great day.” “Hey, this is [your name]. If you’re calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I’ll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s].” “Hello, you’ve reached [name] at company. I’m unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your name and number, and I’ll return your call as soon as I’m free. Thank you.”

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