Yeah, that is the type of voicemail greeting you want to make sure that you no longer have, especially since employers might be getting your voicemail when trying to contact you, and if you are telling them to “do their thang,” chances are they aren’t even going to bother leaving a message.
This type of service can be very beneficial as users are still able to craft their own messages, while a professional reads them. In doing so, companies can spend more time on the scripting process, making sure the text conveys everything they want it to. As such, companies may bring in expert teams to draft, revise, and/or finalize the script itself. The bottom line is you can take more time to get the words right. Additionally, in working with a professional voice talent, you are ensuring your words have the utmost impact—i.e. the words are read perfectly with the right tone, resonance, pacing, etc.

The simple truth is that you need to be more aware of what you’re leaving for other people to hear. Sure, this doesn’t always register as a priority for users, but it’s never too late to reassess your greeting. a. Reading/Speaking in the Imperfect Tone: Tone is absolutely everything. Users don’t want to come off as being too nice, as it sounds insincere, or being too terse, as it can be interpreted as being rude. That being said, striking the right balance is absolutely essential. Your greeting exists as its own entity, and therefore, it should NOT rely on callers’ familiarity with you. Instead, it needs to appeal to the masses. As such, your inflection, i.e. the way you state your name and directions, needs to be both welcoming and firm. b. Injecting Humor & Insincerity: While humor/light heartedness can be welcoming, it can also convey a sense of informality, insincerity, and ultimately unprofessionalism. Why, because you’re not there to lend your humor or to contextualize. Instead, you’re assuming the caller has a working knowledge of your personality to ground the message. Though this might not sound like it’s all that terrible—it can be detrimental. As stated above, one should NEVER rely on a caller’s familiarity with you. Instead, aim to appeal to the masses. Humor is ultimately subjective, meaning not everyone has the same tastes; therefore, someone is bound to be turned off by a quirky or off-color remark. While implementing a light-hearted or even tongue and cheek tone can work, it’s just a really bad idea.
Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner (your name here) does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. She gives to charity through the office and she doesn’t need her picture taken if your still with me please leave a message and she will get back with you.