You have reached xxx-xxxx. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in “as-is” condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don’t return your call, it means the machine did not work.
Consider for a moment how your phone is currently being answered. Professional courtesy is quite often not the standard for many college students. An abrupt "Yeah!" could be listed among the more courteous greetings. The more outrageous remarks will often buy you a major black mark in the professionalism category—even if it was your roommate answering your phone and acting crazy. A simple "This is ____" is always a pleasant change for a college student call. Make the change today, before the next (or first) employer phone call. If you have a landline, you should also encourage your roommate to do the same.

(in british accent) oh my god nooooo you’ve made me spill my tea you trotter !!!!! *running footsteps and random sscreaming* leave a message ill listen and call back when Im not busy beating my bloody siblings with a shoe.
A professional voicemail greeting is a recorded message that welcomes callers to your business when no one is available to pick up the call. For a polished call experience, the greeting should reflect who the client is calling – whether a general business number, department, team, or individual – and when the customer can expect the call to be returned.