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The basic rule of thumb is that callers should hear one of two things when they first connect with your voicemail — either an apology for not being able to answer the call or a “thank you” for having called. You can do both if you prefer, but keep it short and to the point.

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A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future….
Website: https://support.digium.com/community/s/article/How-do-I-record-my-Voicemail-Greeting-over-the-Phone .

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For example, a message like, “Hi, this is Jim. You know what to do.” Well, not everyone is going to know what to do—i.e. they won’t leave you inclusive information. Additionally, they may not leave you a message at all. Aside from this, humor can again be detrimental to your message, this time lending itself to ambiguity and costing you clarity. For example, if a message read, “Hi this is Jim, sorry I can’t answer your call right now. Please leave your name and number and I’ll call you as soon as I can, but you already knew that right? Do I need to tell you what to do?” This is worse than the previous example as this is confusing and can also come across as rude and unprofessional. Complicating a greeting with phrasing like this is sure to cause some harm. e. Ignoring Personality & Identity: Don’t use computer generated greetings. Some users leave default messages (‘you’ve reached the voicemail box of 777-777-777, please leave a message). Believe it or not, even this can cause problems. Callers may be unsure if the voicemail box belongs to you; therefore, they don’t leave a message. Also, some may even be uncomfortable leaving information through a message in a nameless voice message box. As such, impersonalization can cause ambiguity, which again can hurt the effectiveness of your voice message system. This doesn’t mean you have to make an elaborate greeting if you don’t want to, just insert your voice and name so at least callers know they’re calling the right person.
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Need your voicemail recording as soon as possible? Depending on the complexity of your job, you can receive your final audio files in as little as one day.
We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and Master Card, Visa, or American Express account number and we’ll get back to, pending credit approval.

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Hi! I’m not here right now, I seem to have broken my tomatoes…You wouldn’t happen to have any tomato paste on you, would ya?

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“Greetings! You’ve reached [your name and position]’s voicemail. I am away from my phone or [other important and expected job function]. Please leave me your name, telephone number, and a short message. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can, typically within [reasonable timeframe, like 12 or 24 hours].” How do I record my company voicemail?

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    11. “Hello! You’ve reached [company name] support line. We’ll be happy to help with your inquiry. In the meantime, have you checked out our [website, help forum, etc.]? It may have the answer you’re looking for. If not, leave your name, number and reason for your call. We’ll reach out to you within the day. Thanks for calling [company name].” Sometimes, a caller likes to find the answer to their own questions. Let them discover by directing them to your website or help forum if you have one.

    To whom it may concern. You’ve tried to reach Wilbur and Ed. We aren’t here at the moment, but if you want, you can leave your contact information at the tone and one of the brood will get to you shortly. Take care, thanks for the call.
    7. "Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and the reason you'd like to chat, and I'll get back to you ASAP."

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    A great voicemail greeting can even make people look forward to you returning their call. Whether you want to install a professionally recorded voicemail greeting, or you want to record one yourself, it helps to know what you want to say before you record. Here are some helpful examples.

    Keep it short and sweet so that the caller can quickly leave their message and move on with their day.
    With all these things to include, it's easy to write your greeting the wrong way. To keep it simple, something like this:

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    “Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [your company]. I’m unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘double their leads in 60 days,’ ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,’ ‘convert 40% more customers.’] Leave your name and number, and we’ll discuss how your company can see similar results.” “Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and reason you’d like to chat, and I’ll get to back to you ASAP.” “Hi, you’ve reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I’ll be in touch by EOD tomorrow. If it’s not urgent, leave me a message with your name and number. Have a great day.” “Hey, this is [your name]. If you’re calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I’ll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s].” “Hello, you’ve reached [name] at company. I’m unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your name and number, and I’ll return your call as soon as I’m free. Thank you.”

    What’s in a good voicemail greeting?Often, it’s the little things that count.Your voicemail greeting should represent you.
    Voicemail Normal. Saw Leave A Voicemai. Japan Girl Voicemail. Greetings. Mig phone greeting. Funny Vmail Greet. Elmer Fudd Greeting. Silence Of …

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    30. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m currently out of the office and will return on [X date]. If your call requires urgent attention, please call [Name] at [phone number] and they’ll be happy to assist you. If not, leave a message and I’ll return your call when I get back.

    When on vacation, provide your callers with a return date and a back-up contact person to accommodate emergencies. This prevents you from potentially damaging a valued relationship while you enjoy some time off.
    Hope you’ve picked up some of the above mentioned voicemail greetings for your answering machine. Try to be respectful and considerate on the voicemail, such attributes lets the caller know that he/she is important and you would return their call soon.

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09Hey, I’m available right now but can’t find my phone. Kindly leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I get it. This cute message will help your callers know you aren’t close to your cell phone. They’ll be reassured that once you get their message, you’ll call them back.

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As an added bonus, posting a job on Voices.com is always free. They also have a VoiceMatch™ algorithm to match your job to only the most qualified voice talent.

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A professional voicemail greeting is slightly different than a business greeting, as certain professionals may require the caller to leave specific information. For instance, a professional therapist voicemail greeting would specifically ask for contact information from the caller, as well as leave their own personal contact information in case

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It’s important to stay semi-ambiguous, create interest and curiosity, and focus on simply getting them to call you back as the topic of your voicemail.

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