(in british accent) oh my god nooooo you’ve made me spill my tea you trotter !!!!! *running footsteps and random sscreaming* leave a message ill listen and call back when Im not busy beating my bloody siblings with a shoe.
Writing a script doesn’t mean you have to write a speech. A simple greeting is fine, like this sample voicemail message:

If you don’t know it by now, you might never know. Voicemail greetings are incredibly important to users. It conveys identity, character, and image to callers. In an increasingly digital world, where business is conducted online and over the phone, phone presence is increasingly important. As such, your greeting is a crucial part of the platform. While there are a number of obstacles to be aware of, utilized properly, voicemail greetings can be incredibly helpful and beneficial; therefore, its in users best interest to invest themselves in creating a quality recording.
While email and text support saw an increase in recent years, many customers, partners, and potential hires still prefer to call your company directly. When writing your voicemail script, include basic information such as a short greeting, your company name, an invitation to leave a short message, and the time frame in which the caller can expect a return call. If relevant, you may want to include your office hours, extensions for company departments, and the contact information for your office manager or HR department.