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Right, Outlook has that auto-display of OOO messages, so at least I know so-and-so won’t be seeing it for days and I either adjust expectations accordingly or I just email someone else.

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If you’re out for the day, I think you literally just need to say “I’m not in the office today, but I’ll respond to your message as soon as I’m back.” If people need an answer to something today, they’re smart enough to figure out they need to ask somebody else.
My dad will call and leave — legit — a 5 minute voice mail where he will tell me that he has something to tell me, that it is really funny, that he can’t leave it as a voicemail because I won’t get it, or maybe I won’t find it funny, that’s fine, I don’t have to call him back, it was stupid anyway, it probably isn’t funny….. He goes through all of the stages of passive aggressive behavior before ending with “Anyway, call me back.” .

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That said, be careful with messages that are this curt. Make sure you’re familiar enough with your audience — and your boss, for that matter — to know that this sort of out-of-office message will be met with a snicker, and not with annoyance.
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I have no idea how to update my voicemail message and I don’t actually know what it says. I occasionally get voicemails that are automatically forwarded to my email as sound files but I don’t think I have ever had a business related voicemail land there (it is rare that I get calls from outside the company and most people in the company if they can’t reach me on the phone will IM me directly–we use Teams for both phone and messaging).
I apologise for this blunt email, yet feel I must warn customers and shareholders to divest yourself of any interests you hold in this company as the **** is about to hit the fan.

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I didn’t watch the video, but reading the transcript I got the vibe that the author is one of those people that thinks they are a lot more clever than everyone else does.

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Option 3: If it’s an inferno, skip the line. Is everything burning and only a master of existential threats could help? First, flattered you even contacted me. Now get going and contact my supervisor. He is the elusive one you’re looking for.

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    A clear, thoughtful out of office message saves the caller from troubles and inconvenience caused by your unavailability as they know what they should do next. Such a system avoids the negative impact that could come from the inability to respond to calls and messages. Your clients would likely try and contact you again and again, getting frustrated and losing trust in your business.

    14. "Hello, you've reached the Sales Department at [Company name]. All of our representatives are currently helping clients [insert goal such as, 'achieve 40% growth through streamlining HR operations'] and are unable to take your call. Please leave your name, company, and phone number and we'll give you a call back ASAP. Thank you!"
    Proof that some people just Don’t Get It: in response to my out of office voicemail message directing callers to contact my co-worker for anything urgent, a woman left the following message on MY voicemail: “Co-worker, I am having this issue, blah, blah, blah. Please call me at X.” Yeah, I–not co-worker–got the message a week later when I returned.

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    I only set my out of office if I’m going to be gone for more than one full day. Like, right now I don’t bother if I’m going to be out for one day, because in general the people who email me either know I’m out for a day or are unfazed by waiting 24 hours for a response. The last time I went out of office for a week, I came back to about 65 emails, 9 of which would have actually required my attention when I weeded through them. If I got a higher email volume, I’d do for a single day though.

    Finally, if you’re doing something incredible for the holiday break, you may as well let people know about it. Heading skiing for a few weeks, or going on a cruise? Put it in your out of office! It’s not like your emailers can do anything about it.
    When it comes to professionalism, keeping things short and to the point is a good idea. What’s more, if you write a short auto-reply email, you don’t spend too much of the limited time you have left before your vacation.

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    Completely unplugging from work? Good for you! Be sure to make this plan clear in your autoresponder so boundaries are set and no one expects any type of work-related correspondence while you’re away. Then, turn on SaneDoNotDisturb and enjoy an empty inbox for days.

    7.) Herzlich willkommen bei der Rechtsanwaltskanzlei Mustermann. Leider können wir Ihren Anruf derzeit nicht persönlich entgegen nehmen, da Sie während unserer Betriebsferien anrufen. Gerne können Sie uns eine E-Mail senden an [email protected] - Wir werden uns dann nach unserer Rückkehr umgehend bei Ihnen melden. In dringenden Fällen wenden Sie sich bitte an unsere Kanzleivertretung. Diese finden Sie auf unserer Homepage unter www.kanzlei-mustermann.de . Vielen Dank für Ihren Anruf. Auf Wiederhören!
    Same, I think it’s patronizing to talk people through their options as if they can’t make a decent choice without having their hand held every step of the way. There are plenty of people who can’t, of course, but I don’t think a long, verbose message is necessarily going to help.

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    Dear [Customer name] Our store will be closed from [date] to [date] for Thanksgiving. We are assure you all of your emails will be answered once we are back on [date]. Kind regards, [Name/signature]

    Due to a bank holiday, I am out of the office on 18th November. Emails won’t be forwarded and will be answered after my return on 19th November.
    I’ve seen similar things with OOO messages where people would update them practically daily. “I’ll be away from my desk from 9-2 with intermittent emails and then on a call from 3:-3:45” and ….dude. We don’t need that much detail every day.

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Whereas the 11th of November 1918, marked the cessation of the most destructive, sanguinary, and far reaching war in human annals and the resumption by the people of the United States of peaceful relations with other nations, which we hope may never again be severed, and

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Co-sign. HATE THAT. We use Outlook and there’s a banner across the top that says AUTOMATIC REPLIES ARE BEING SENT. Just click the button to stop them!

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If you want your message to be formal, avoid using contracted forms such as I’m and I’ll as well as informal or casual language. It’s also a good idea to start your message with an expression of thanks like: If your audience isn’t from your work environment, you could take a risk with something more fun and personalised:

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I might be your coworker. I don’t get a lot of calls so it slips my mind constantly. Email I just set up a timer and it’s so much easier that way.

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