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I pretty consistently just do “Greetings, I will be out of office from (date) to (date) with (limited/no) access to email. If you need assistance, please contact (boss) at (email address) – otherwise, I will follow up with you upon my return. Thanks!”

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Yes! I remember reading here the phrase: the default mode of clever is asshole. Meaning when trying to be clever backfires, you end up just looking like an asshole. I’ve given up the need to get laughs at my clever sense of humor while at work. I really hope that out of office message is for internal emails only, because the risk of this landing badly is too high.
This OoO has to be in the tech sector. I can see something like this as an (internal only) OoO at my workplace. I actually kinda love it. Yes it’s wordy but it also makes the recipient take a beat and consider the importance of their issue and where to go if needed. It will also cut down on interruptions to the “catch-all” person in the standard OoO, which is generally the Admin. I have always hated being the go-to on people’s OoOs. I spent more time trying to find info on what Urgent Emailer insisted was URGENT than I did doing any actual work. And the urgency was never really necessary. .

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Come Christmas time, there’s nothing quite like tidying up your desk, shamefully closing your 50 Chrome tabs, and switching on your out-of-office responder for the holidays.

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Unless you work in an industry well known for grownups being good at smart and bad at practical. Then, you do.
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Some people keep theirs quite corporate and formal, adopting a to-the-point notification, i.e.:

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Website: https://infinititelecommunications.com.au/updating-your-phone-system-greetings-voicemail/

  • holiday message to business clients

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    Now the last part is to bring up the DND mode to the Control Center, where you can turn on the DND mode to make your iPhone respond to calls and messages with an automated vacation message that you set.
    Your clients don’t have a lot of time, and neither do you. Use the following short voicemail greetings to get to the point quickly and invite them to leave a message.

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    I am currently on annual leave and I return to the office on Monday 21st September. I will reply to your email as soon as possible.
    When was today? Did you leave the sign up or is it freshly posted? Etc. People, use dates!

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    Long Vacation Message. If you’re going to be on vacation for a week or two, then it’s essential you set up your vacation email. If you miss the odd day, the world won’t implode, but if people don’t know you’re away for a few weeks and they don’t know exactly when you’ll be back, or who they can contact in your place, you’re going to have some unhappy clients or customers.

    I do this, too, especially if I’m out for longer than a day or two. I like giving myself a bit of breathing room to dig out of the inbox.
    Whatever you decide before heading out for that much-needed time off, it’s imperative that you set up an out of office reply. Your customers and co-workers don’t get that same pause button as you do. That’s why you should inform everyone that needs to know about your time off.

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    Purchasing and receiving for The University of Toledo Medical Center and clinics will run operations as usual during winter break, with no interruption to service.

    “We will get in touch with you very soon”.“Thank you for reaching out to us”.“Our representative we contact you ASAP”.
    One of our support champions will attend you shortly. You are [number] in the queue. Your wait time will be approximately [minutes]. Thank you. We appreciate your patience.

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Thank you for your e-mail. Unfortunately, I will not be able to answer your e-mail before 01.02.2021.

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Just kidding, I'm not in Hawaii. How awesome would that be though, right? Instead, I'm enjoying a peaceful vacation in my living room. That being said, I'm not in the office right now, and will respond to your email after [date].

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Much appreciated and I followed these instructions to the detail…still need more help with this as it is designed only for “while driving” mode. If I’m not driving, do I have auto-reply to text options?

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Top of the iceberg though. Oh, and she also works with external contacts, including prospective clients.

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