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On a serious note… sailing vacations are the best for no access/contact vacations. I heartily endorse them!

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Education Details: Out of Office Template #2 For the Person Who Likes to Keep it Friendly, But Professional. Hello, Thank you for your email. I’m currently offline until [date] to celebrate the holiday with my loved ones—without my phone in front of my face. I’ll be sure to reply to your message when I …
To ensure your out-of-office email is thoughtful and useful, we’ve compiled all the important information and three handy (copy-and-paste ready!) out-office-email examples. .

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Yep. When I was at an on-call job and sometimes had to check email while I was off it was a little more tailored; I would specify whether I had access to email or not, and give more detailed info on who to contact for what if I didn’t. Nowadays this is fine. And fine for me on the other end as well. I just need the relevant info, it’s not remotely a big deal if someone’s out.
Hello, our office will remain closed for during the Christmas period. We assure you that all your emails will be responded to as soon as we return to the office. Merry Christmas! Regards, [Name/Company name]

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I think humor is fine (the hard-to-misunderstand kind), but definitely less than 100 words of it. “I’m out of the office returning Thursday June 10th. Please contact (shared mailbox email address) for support or call (person name) if the matter is urgent.”
19. "Hello, you've reached [your name]. I'm currently [exploring Asia, hiking through the jungle in Costa Rica, hanging out on the beach in Bermuda] — or more likely, [recovering from extreme jet lag, googling ‘Are red spiders poisonous,' or looking for SPF 150 sunscreen] and won't be back in the office until [date]. Leave your contact info and reason for calling and I'll get in touch then."

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I saw a version of this on IG that was an old school (paper) OOO from an associate pastor. It has a line like “if this is an emergency and you must speak to someone, Jesus is always available on the mainline.” Too funny.

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Hijacking this with a question- what do you do when you no longer have an co-workers to serve as an out of office contact? I find myself putting up the OOO less and less, because there’s no one left to respond to anything in my absence (beyond my supervisor who has no knowledge of how to do the tasks of my job).

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    My trick though is to leave the out of office on for the first day after I return so folks know to expect delays while I get caught up/triage my inbox. Works for my company.

    Further, given how poorly humor — especially sarcastic or snarky, even if mild — translates in text, you're running a moderate risk of pissing someone off through no fault of their own, for no reason other than to indulge yourself.
    A. On the Health Science Campus, Morse Center will be open. The Recreation Center on Main Campus will be closed during winter break, resuming normal business hours after New Year's Day.

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    10 best office closed for holiday messages. These messages are suitable for autoresponders, emails, text messages, and in-office posters. Thanksgiving Standard Message Our office will remain closed until the end of this week for Thanksgiving Holidays. We assure you that all your emails will be answered in the order they are received as soon as [..]

    Hello, All our stores will be closed until the end of the week for [Christmas]. We will respond to all your inquiries once we are back on [date]. Merry Christmas! Regards [Name/signature]
    To comment on this story or anything else you have seen on BBC Capital, please head over to our Facebook page or message us on Twitter.

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    Written by Braden Becker @BradenBecker

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    Dear Customer, Our office will be closed from [date] until [date] and close again for December and January to welcome the New Year. We wish you the warmest holiday. Regards, [Company name]

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    Now the last part is to bring up the DND mode to the Control Center, where you can turn on the DND mode to make your iPhone respond to calls and messages with an automated vacation message that you set.

    I’m so glad not to have to work at [insert company] any more that I am literally high on life.
    Are you the office prankster? Are you also taking some time off to relax during lockdown? Everyone loves a cheeky out of office response. We’re big fans of the example below. You’ll have your whole office in hysterics.

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Our auto-replies to outside people are two or three paragraphs long though, which feels ridiculous but is actually necessary.

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If you’re leaving a company for good, use your favourite book or film to make someone smile – like ‘Master gave Dobby a sock… Dobby is a free elf’ or ‘Hasta la vista, baby’... but this type of message really depends on the kind of impression you want to leave them with and who the message will go out to. Don’t forget, you might need them for references! Traditional offices no longer cater for modern business needs and provide a very limited service offering. In consequence, businesses have slowly been making the transition to more flexible working arrangements, such as employees working remotely part-time or benefitting from flexi-hours. We... 7 ways to make someone’s day at work while social distancing

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Maintain transparent communication with customers and keep them informed in terms of managing their queries.By setting automated email messages, businesses can have continuous customer engagement via alternative channels.Customer value brands that deliver prompt responses. With auto reply messages, brands can acknowledge customer support requests that boost satisfaction.Best practices of creating auto reply messages

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