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The use of humans is weirdly condescending to me, like people who say ‘doggo’ sincerely. It seems incredibly off at work.

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If you’re experiencing a higher text volume than normal, be sure to have a volume auto-text on hand to help buffer the traffic. Thanks for your message! We’re experiencing a higher volume of texts than usual. You can expect a reply within 12 hours.
Not an out of office reply but a voicemail greeting: at a previous job I called someone and her voicemail greeting said that she would be out of the office from Day – Day and that her voicemail wasn’t accepting messages during that time, click! The time in question was six months prior. Plenty of people she worked with and for could have called her on it and apparently had not, so she just … didn’t get voicemails. Like, that was not a way you could communicate with her. .

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I appreciate your message. I am out of the office currently with no office email access. However, return on the following [date-of-return].
Thanks for your email. I’m on vacation. On the couch. Eating chips. And bingeing Stranger Things for the eighth time (don’t tell anyone).

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Sorry, you missed me. I’ll be away from the office until [date]. As my inbox didn’t join me on this trip, I will only be responding to emails only when I return. That will be on [date].
But it seems a bit too chock full of dismissive, thinky veiled put-downs really. I wouldn’t want to work for someone would lump the people who work for them as competent humans (oh-em-gee, thanks), is that the best they can do to describe people? Oh wait….they look out for her (is she a princess) and each other (should I start applauding now?). No one needs to call me or anyone else a rock star, best teapot decorator in the multiverse, or amazing humans all the time but the best she could crank out was competent + humans. I get the attempt to be witty but it’s really sad that she isn’t more generous.

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Oh heavens no. All I ask of an out of office is that it tells me when the person will be back (if known) and who I can contact in the interim.

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A professional voicemail greeting is a vital component of your communication strategy. It can increase engagement with your clients, create rapport and leave a good first impression when you're currently not available to pick up the phone. Knowing the perfect words to include in your professional voicemail recording increases the chances of

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    I wrote the above comment off the top of my head. I wish I had time to rewrite and edit it. I would have changed “their goldfish” to “a spider they accidentally stepped on”, and would have added more detail to the story of the sister’s death (e.g. “her Pomeranian yapping” rather than the less descriptive “her dog barking”). Unfortunately, I could not do the thorough writing job required for that comment because someone close to me recently … – The person whose out of office advertised his gig on the weekend, for anyone in travelling to [city] – The people in a certain department who have taken to saying things like “if you really need to contact me, call 000-YYY-XXXX where Y is the square root of [insert numbers] and X is the year plutonium was discovered.” – The ones where people have an auto response saying they only check their emails once a day between 1-2pm – “I’m on research leave and I may be slow to reply.” (Whereby it is guaranteed they will reply immediately, because academics do not *really* take breaks).

    My boss had this problem (outdated message), but it wasn’t his fault. No matter how many times he changed it, it kept reverting to the original message and dates. Even IT couldn’t figure it out.
    But interestingly enough, exboss never set her out of office emails when she was out of the office or teleworking. Curious how the rules never applied to her. So glad to get away from her. This isn’t even the tip of the Toxic Boss Iceberg that was her. You are unavailable until x date, and I’ll get back to you after that date. Done. (sorry, didn’t think about email OOO stuff. Hey, it’s the 90’s here at my work place.)

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    If there is an emergency, please email [email protected] and someone will contact you as soon as possible.

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    She definitely had an excessive ego, and she was also a narcissist who loved to micromanage so it was a really toxic place under her. We used to love it when she went on vacation because the office was quiet, calm, and drama-free.

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    When you’ve finally powered your way through that seemingly endless to-do list and are ready to check out of work-mode once and for all, there’s one final thing you need to take care of: Setting your out-of-office response.

    This is an automatic reply. Thank you very much for your email. I am currently on holiday until [date], I will not be able to respond to your emails promptly until I am back to the office. In the event that you need an urgent response, please call the office directly on: 1) Office Lines (Working Hours, Monday-Sunday + 3GMT): [Tel Numbers]
    Duh. We're in the travel industry. Of course, an out of office message involving dolphin-speak would be at the top of our list! Who doesn't love a dolphin?

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    I also kinda want to sit here with popcorn and read all the shenanigans that are about to roll in.

    6. Out of Office Template #6 For the Person Who Likes to Live on the Edge (of HR Protocol) Hello, I’m currently offline for the holidays—which means I’m busy either
    That’s weird. I’m technically teleworking almost all the time (our office doesn’t really have the space to fit us all in anyway) and I’m next to my computer nearly the whole day…

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Please see the video here, explained step by step: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0jJwjpE87o. Hope this help.

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But despite these (fantastic) suggestions, the number one rule for choosing your out of office is that it reflects who you are as a person. Don’t change for anyone, especially not your auto-responder.

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It’s possible I might quote from some responses to this in an upcoming column, so please note if you don’t want me to do that with yours!

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Auto (I mean auto not manual sms send out) sms reply does not work for incoming calls only for messages. I see this issue is getting ignored though pointed out several times. Has anyone cracked this one?

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