As owner of Aviation Gin, my mission is to never speak to you like some out of touch Hollywood A-hole. My job is to remain accountable. Down to earth. Hard working.
Hey, I am currently out of office. If something urgent comes up, you can email [name and email]. Kind regards.

You’ve reached Michael Abioye’s inbox. This is a general notice informing you of Michael Abioye’s absence until January 2nd, 20XX. He is currently partaking in the traditions of a certain holiday, which may or may not be denominational or non-denominational. Example Company is in no way endorsing or not endorsing said holiday, nor encouraging or discouraging employees of all demographics to engage in celebratory activities. Thank you for your consideration during this festive or not-festive time.
Yes, I phoned a dentist office late in the day for a reinfected root canal problem and got a cutsy “humphrey bogart” fake reply on their voicemail — I thought it was extremely inappropriate for a business office to use something like this. It was hard to find it funny, especially because while calling me “sweetheart” and all that, the message didn’t actually tell me when they might return my call (later that day? Next day? Next week? Never?) nor did they offer any options for emergency contact with another dentist.