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The science fiction writer John Scalzi says “The failure mode of clever is asshole,” which seems to apply here.
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Education Details: If you are planning to head out on vacation or step away from your office for a few days- creating an out of office autoresponder email message is … out of the office email template
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Thanks for getting in touch. I am currently out of the office from [date] to [date] and will have limited access to my email during this time. You may be able to get ahold of me on my cell phone at [phone number]. If you can’t get through to me and have an urgent inquiry, you can contact a member of the team at [phone number], or my assistant [Name] at [email] or [phone number].
Thanks for your note! I’ll be OOO from [date] to [date] and will not have access to email during that time. If this is an urgent matter, please contact [Contact Name] at [contact email].
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I once left a kind of breezy, fun out of office message for “people inside my organization” that said the literal truth: “I am out of office this week at a mountain resort where I have paid many hundreds of dollars for someone to take my electronics away from me. I’ll get back to you Monday,” and a very normal and professional OOO for “people outside my organization.” Needless to say I returned to a message from a senior (but not, I stress, my boss or even on my team) colleague calling me out on it. People surely can make things their business.
Merry Christmas.Happy Hanukkah.Joyous Kwanzaa.Yuletide Greetings.Happy holidays.Joyeux Noël.Feliz Navidad.Seasons Greetings.
If you super, duper need to contact me, you can find me on Facebook or Twitter and use the hashtag #I’mGonnaRuinYourVacation
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When was today? Did you leave the sign up or is it freshly posted? Etc. People, use dates!
I think the problem is that “at your earliest convenience” is a formulaic convention that uses explicit, almost exaggerated politeness to basically issue a stern direction, meaning “as soon as you possibly can”. When you turn it into “at my earliest convenience” it’s unclear if you mean “whenever it’s convenient for me to get to it” (what the words say) or “as soon as I possibly can” (what the meaning of the formulaic original is). Or else it sounds like you didn’t quite understand how “at your earliest convenience” works.
11) Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
Because you can never predict when an emergency will come up, make sure you have someone who can resond to urgent requests. And that person would be your direct manager. But let them know ahead of time so they're not blindsided when they need to respond to something.
Thank you for your e-mail. Unfortunately, I will not be able to answer your e-mail before 01.02.2021.
Just hang in there, the holiday break is near. Alas! You can finally disconnect, recharge, and relax.