Carnegie Mellon's U.S. campuses observe 11 official holidays. The university is closed on these days, and all non-essential personnel are not expected to report to work. Regular, full-time staff members may also take up to three floating holidays per calendar year.
Yes, I phoned a dentist office late in the day for a reinfected root canal problem and got a cutsy “humphrey bogart” fake reply on their voicemail — I thought it was extremely inappropriate for a business office to use something like this. It was hard to find it funny, especially because while calling me “sweetheart” and all that, the message didn’t actually tell me when they might return my call (later that day? Next day? Next week? Never?) nor did they offer any options for emergency contact with another dentist.

However, I’ll be checking in whenever I can, and will respond to all emails marked ‘urgent’ as soon as I am able to. For immediate assistance, you can contact me on [mobile number].
There ought to be a word - and perhaps there is, in German - for the mix of feelings that accompanies composing and activating a holiday out-of-office message. There's smugness, of course, and a gratifying sense of laying down one's virtual tools after a horribly long shift. But for many of us, these nice feelings are tempered by the knowledge that in two weeks, refreshed but depressed, we will have to trawl through hundreds of emails, many of which will be conference room notifications for meetings about crises that have passed.