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This is so funny to be because I would chuckle getting those! You have personal context which is how you know that there is an aggeressive/accusatory tone….but without that context I would interpret these as boundaried and light-hearted. (With the exception of the ‘momtears’ one, that would feel overly personal to me.)

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My dad will call and leave — legit — a 5 minute voice mail where he will tell me that he has something to tell me, that it is really funny, that he can’t leave it as a voicemail because I won’t get it, or maybe I won’t find it funny, that’s fine, I don’t have to call him back, it was stupid anyway, it probably isn’t funny….. He goes through all of the stages of passive aggressive behavior before ending with “Anyway, call me back.”
You don’t have to stop using OOO messages. Instead, they need to be used wisely. It’s okay to suggest an alternate contact while you are unavailable or add a date when you will be back in action. Just skip the details about why you set up the out of office message. No one needs to know that your son is getting married in Paris. Remove any personal details in that message, including personal cell phone numbers or an alternate email where you can temporarily be reached. .

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Thank you for your email. I’m currently out of the office, returning on [return date].
The power of the right voicemail greeting is the caller actually staying on the line to leave that contact information or gain access to an alternative contact point. The bottom line is that a business’s situation is likely to change often and rapidly, each of which need a unique and applicable voicemail greeting to cover the circumstances

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On behalf of all people who have trouble typing on the miniature keyboards, my apologies :)
Not every vacation you take is going to leave you completely unreachable. For those days when you’re out of the office but are still checking and responding to email or phone calls, make sure your message explicitly states that people will still be able to reach you, and how:

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If you are reading this, it is because John Whatsisname cannot help you – he has left the company and no longer uses this email address.

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Every holiday, we customize our voicemail for relevance to the theme and season. This Thanksgiving, the message is this: “Thank you for calling. We are currently closed in observance of Thanksgiving. We’re unable to attend your call today, but we promise to get back to you if you would kindly leave your name and contact details on record.

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    “Ahoy landlubbers, Dr Pirate [Myname] is back again to get her second eye done.

    Hi there, Thanks for your email. I am out of the office right now and will not return until [MM/DD]. Fortunately for you, our resources never take time off and we’ve got this awesome ebook / whitepaper / infographic on [TITLE] that I think you would enjoy. I’ll get back to you as soon as I get back into the office. Best.
    I’ll return on [date] or after I watch [favorite holiday movie] one too many times (whichever comes first)—and will respond to your message at that time.

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    Braden also recommends using HubSpot's out-of-office email generator to create your OOO message.

    Oh I also saw one from a person who used to be my manager (thank goodness that nightmare is over). She had: – An extra space in the email address to contact in her absence, which would create a bounce back if someone tried to use it as she typed it. – Had a date that was clearly a “fill in the blank” that she didn’t look at, because it was something like “3th” instead of “3rd.”
    I feel for the people who have to cover others’ out-of-office for a few hours or a day, just as much as I feel for those who have to arrange cover whenever they’re out for a meeting. If the purpose is showing demanding clients that they can get a quick response to their issues at any time, then…won’t talking to someone who doesn’t have any context about their business piss them off even more? It all feels like unnecessary stress to put on people.

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    Catholic Holy Days and Holidays. Follow the Church through the liturgical year, exploring the rich history of Catholic feasts and seasons. From Advent through Christmas to Epiphany, from Lent through Easter to Pentecost.

    In 2013, researcher danah boyd wrote a LinkedIn blog post advocating for the nuclear option which was framed in the piece as an “email sabbatical.” Coming back to an empty inbox after a vacation is should be a break from the insanity, not a procrastination of it,” boyd wrote of the decision to send everything to the trash.
    A couple work friends and I banded together years ago to fill each others’ voicemails so it would be impossible to leave us new voicemails.

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    I emailed this person 3 times and never got a response. Thankfully they weren’t upset when we moved forward without their input.

    If this matter isn’t time-sensitive, rest assured that I’ll respond when I’m back in the office. But, if this is an urgent request, please resend any messages that require my immediate attention with a subject line of “URGENT: [Original Subject]”.
    I’m part time. I don’t use an out of office message, but I do have my hours in my signature, and sometimes include that information in the body of email. Many of the people I correspond with frequently need things turned around quickly – postings for public meetings need to go out so many days ahead of said meeting, and similar. They need to know when I’m available to get the work done!

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haha no offense taken. No one wanted to read (or even listen!) to all that. We only did it so she’d stop ruining our Mondays with epic 1-hour rants about what terrible people we are. And no, none of the projects we worked on were ever so critical or time-sensitive!

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Thank you for your message. I’m on sick leave and will get back to you as soon as I return to the office.

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From March 30th 2018 until April 02nd 2018 our office will be closed due to the holidays. From April 03rd 2018 we are back as usual for you and answer your requests as soon as possible.

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One of my reports ***NEVER*** sets their out of office. I have gotten pushback with, “Oh I just check my email while I’m out and forward if it’s important,” (NOT THEIR PLACE, PLUS THEY ARE HOURLY AND LEGALLY SHOULD NOT DO THAT). I have tried to remind which, I think ONCE over the last 6-7 years has worked. I should NOT have to remind someone of this. The one time they actually did it was a NIGHTMARE. Instead of Googling how to do it, they expected me to tell them how.

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