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No reddit on this rig, but “company-wide email + 30,000 employees + auto-responders =” as a search should get you there. Totally worth the hunt.

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Otherwise, a referral to your company’s general contact email or a simple ‘I’ll respond when I get back, stop bugging me’ should do the trick.
"Hello, you've reached [name] at [company]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your name and number, and I'll return your call as soon as I'm free. Thank you." .

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That’s the simple structure of a voicemail greeting. Overall, your greeting should be professional, but the wording can vary depending on the situation. Check out a sample below.
You need to let colleagues, clients, and prospects know that you won’t be available, while ensuring that they know the best course of action to take while you’re away.

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I was always a little bit skittish about OOO’s in the pre-smartphone days. I don’t like the idea of announcing to the world that my house is going to be unoccupied all week.
In 2013, researcher danah boyd wrote a LinkedIn blog post advocating for the nuclear option which was framed in the piece as an “email sabbatical.” Coming back to an empty inbox after a vacation is should be a break from the insanity, not a procrastination of it,” boyd wrote of the decision to send everything to the trash.

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I don’t think OP meant condescending to the person’s teammates so much as condescending to the reader. The person over-explains each option and I can see how it would read as ‘wow, you are really dumb and obviously need some handholding to figure out simple decision-making!’ That likely wasn’t the intent, I understand, but I get why people might take it that way.

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Here are some of the common questions and answers about holiday messages to employees.

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    This email comes from another one of my colleagues. The purpose of this email is to intercept messages during Thanksgiving, and the way in which it does so is, well, with thankfulness.

    Oh my gaaaaawwwwdddd my mother used to do this. Like, her work voicemail was “Hello, you have reached Lizy’s Mother, Job Title at Company Name. Today is Thursday, June 3. I am in the office today, but away from my desk at the moment. If you’ll leave a message with your name, phone number, and reason for your call, I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”
    The majority of your out-of-office emails will go to recipients with whom you communicate regularly. If you are sure that there’s a certain level of familiarity with all of the people that get your auto-reply messages, consider writing something about yourself, a funny note, or a joke. That allows them to develop a more personal relationship with you.

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    REVE Chat offers the template to set up personalized queue messages and exact wait to manage their customer expectations. Under the customization option from the dashboard, you can manage customer conversations by providing estimated time and message.

    I had to explain to her that the email was still there, just like a voicemail, they’d get it on their return.
    Our auto-replies to outside people are two or three paragraphs long though, which feels ridiculous but is actually necessary.

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    Thank you for your email. I’m out of the office for the holidays and will be back on [date]. During this period I will have limited access to my email. If you need to contact me, I can be reached on [number, another email, mailing address], otherwise, I will respond to your email on my return.

    We also had company wide announcements that all of Spain was going on holiday in July, and then France would be gone on August, so please wrap up any business for the summer before then :’)
    Both of these tools are designed to help you go from Email Explorer to Email Extractor – and get you from guessing to going when it comes to dealing with your email inbox.

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Unless you work in an industry well known for grownups being good at smart and bad at practical. Then, you do.

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We’re always busy. Sometimes we’re too busy even for work. This is where out of office message comes in.

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“I’ve been whisked away by angry looking men in suits and taken to a small room with one light, a little water and a laptop. I’ve been told to write. I think these men are from my publisher. I’m hoping to be released on Thursday so I can start to responding to emails again.”

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i’m just waiting for the inevitable “Believe it or not, ___ isn’t at work. where could i beeee?” a la Seinfeld

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