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I think there must have been a discussion about this here in December, because when I recently came to set my OoO recently there was some previous wording along the lines of “I will be spending time with my family during the festive season and will not be checking my email until (date)”. I’m annoyed with myself for deleting it without saving it somewhere, because it was much better worded than that and I’d like to be able to use it again!

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It was just this colleague – it (thankfully) wasn’t the culture of the office, and I never saw anyone else abuse the OOO like this.
I ran a nonprofit organization staffed entirely be volunteers (I was one). After one too many people incensed that we did not follow up to their emails within two hours, we had to include an OOO message that said we were a volunteer organization, and any request may take up to two weeks to process. Please email again if you have not heard from us by then. .

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Because you can never predict when an emergency will come up, make sure you have someone who can resond to urgent requests. And that person would be your direct manager. But let them know ahead of time so they're not blindsided when they need to respond to something.
Hi, I will be out of the office starting [MM/DD] through [MM/DD]. If you need immediate assistance during my absence, please contact [name] at [email] or [phone]. I will respond to your emails as soon as possible upon my return on [MM/DD].

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This is a notice to all tenants that leasing office will be closed on [date] in observance of [holiday]. Please contact [name] and [company] for any immediate concerns or questions. Thank you and may everyone have a safe and happy [holiday Name]
This is what I’ve seen most often in my career. Problem is, the contact is almost always the admin. I’m the admin. Everyone’s idea of assistance is different. Often, I didn’t have the knowledge about the issue in order to be of any assistance. I wound up spending more time running around looking for answers than actually working on what was on my own plate. It’s exhausting. Otherwise known as “please don’t call us for unicorn problems when we handle llamas. Literally, we can’t do anything for unicorn problems.”

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Website: https://linkedphone.com/blog/professional-business-voicemail-greetings-scripts-examples-for-business/

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I have a coworker who has an “always-on” autoreply stating that she “is busy with client meetings during the day” and therefore only checks emails at 9am and 3pm. I understand wanting to set the expectation that people won’t get an immediate response, but it really baffles me. If you are still able to respond within 24 hours, why does anyone need this information? To me it feels like some weird self-help tip or power move that they read somewhere that serves no actual function.

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    Our office will remain closed for Christmas. We assure you that all your emails will be answered as soon as we return to the office. Merry Christmas!

    Yes. We do it that way in part because someone might be at a satellite office but out of OUR office and still be able to access emails, OR they might be completely offline at the beach. Saying you’re not answering emails can be helpful.
    “Through this mail, I send holiday greetings for the Symantec office and the employees of the office for a superb holiday season. I wish you all have much fun filled moments and adventures during the holiday period. Have a happy holiday.”

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    My personal voicemail says that I prefer emails or texts when possible, and please leave a voicemail only as a last resort but either of the other two options will have a much faster response rate. I think I’ve gotten two voicemails in the last year.

    (Email Signature) 3. Memorial Day Closed Email. Our office will be closed on Monday, May 31st in observance of Memorial Day. We will reopen on Tuesday, June 1st at 8:00 a.m. Our sincere gratitude to those brave men and woman who have served our country and paid the ultimate sacrifice. Best regards, (Email Signature) Overview: Your Memorial Day
    Humans are, by nature, social creatures—but that doesn't always mean that being social is enjoyable. Here are the 4 kinds of communicators and how to speak with them effectively.

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    I’ll return on [date] or after I watch [favorite holiday movie] one too many times (whichever comes first)—and will respond to your message at that time.
    I didn’t watch the video, but reading the transcript I got the vibe that the author is one of those people that thinks they are a lot more clever than everyone else does.

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    I’ll reply to your message promptly, after I delete the dozen email newsletters about losing weight. If your question or request is not time sensitive, wonderful! If you require immediate assistance, please send contact to [insert name] at [contact email].

    Editor's note: This post was originally published in February 2018 and has been updated for comprehensiveness. Try This Effective Prospecting Voicemail Script [Tips Included] Sales | 12 min read
    Voicemail is also horrible for non-native speakers. I’m reasonably fluent in German but have to listen to voicemails at least 3 times to get everything. Why people can’t just type a text message is beyond me.

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Thanks for your email. I will be away from the office until September 13th and will respond as soon as I can.

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Exactly. It doesn’t matter if I’m sitting on the beach, on my couch, or in a hospital bed–I’m not reachable and you’re gonna have to wait until I get back or contact someone else.

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Season’s Greetings! It’s my favorite time of year, which means I’m currently out of the office chugging mugs of cocoa, stuffing my face with cookies, and attempting to fulfill my life-long goal of memorizing every single line of [FAVORITE HOLIDAY MOVIE]. I’ll be back in front of my computer on [DATE] and will respond to your message at that time. If you need immediate assistance, please send an email to [NAME] at [EMAIL] so that the other elves in this workshop can help you out. Happy ho-ho-holidays!

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Most awkward/painful one I ever saw was a former co-worker. ~10 years ago when he left on paternity leave, he said as much in his out of office. The baby was stillborn. It stayed up for the month or so until he returned. Those of us in the same office of course knew the situation, but we regularly communicated directly with multiple offices in different states and countries. The very first time I saw it I was overcome with dread about how many congratulations he would receive and have to tell the story to. I was much younger and afraid to rock the boat then, but I think now I would push his manager and IT to use their ability to access his account and change it.

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