I’ll be out of the office on vacation for the next week. I will probably see your message because I don’t know how to relax and will likely respond if I feel that I need to help in any way. Otherwise, I’ll get back to you when I return. Thanks!
Since I’m out of the office for the Thanksgiving weekend, I’ll respond to your email with a list of 10 things I’m thankful for: Copiers that collate Co-workers that brew more coffee when they empty the pot Donuts on Mondays AND Fridays When IT surprised me with a new laptop AND remembered to transfer my files When You-Know-Who died at the end of book 7 Dry-erase boards that actually erase The brave soul who cleaned out the refrigerator When I’m early to an all-staff meeting and score a table near the door HR finally sent a memo telling people to STOP clipping their nails at their desk OOO autoresponders

When you’ve finally powered your way through that seemingly endless to-do list and are ready to check out of work-mode once and for all, there’s one final thing you need to take care of: Setting your out-of-office response.
Then there was the occasional one who would do what Alison mentioned with the sickness excuses, and create a tale that read like a police report: “I must miss my deadline because, on the night of August 12, my 45-year-old sister was alone in her house when an intruder entered. He was a 6’1″ caucasian male wearing a black balaclava and carrying a candlestick. As my sister approached him, with the dog barking around her heels, she heard a distant car crash which led her to have a fatal … etc.” (This is not an actual excuse I received, just similar in detail to some of those that were submitted.) These ones I was pretty sure were a writing exercise, requiring time and effort that could have been put to better use on the actual assignment they had been given.