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The one I’ve always wished I was brave enough to write was the one I once got which simply said:

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Hello, I will be out of the office [DATE] through [DATE] returning [DATE]. If you need immediate assistance during my absence, please contact [CONTACT NAME] at [EMAIL]. Otherwise, I will respond to your emails as soon as possible upon my return. Warm regards.
I’ll reply to your message promptly when I return. Should you require immediate assistance, please send an email to [contact name] at [contact email] in my absence. .

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I work in fundraising for after the standard Im out until X, contact Y in the meantime, I also list ways people can give, since thats my job.
Thanks for your email. I'm currently on [reason]. I'll be out of the office from [date] and will be back on [date]. For immediate assistance, please contact [person name] at [person's email]. 6 Tips for Being Productive While Working From Home 20 Powerful TED Talks to Improve Your Leadership Skills

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COMPLETELY agree. Every time I see an OOO for a two-hour doctor’s appointment I have to fight the urge to reply with “How much are you paid?” because I know there is no scenario in which I would have to explain myself if I don’t answer an email for a few hours and if you are that important you better make a LOT more than I do.

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In addition to existing holiday pay, UToledo will provide enough additional paid days off to eligible employees, as indicated in the schedule below. For additional details, please review the Official UToledo Winter Break Policy.

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I hate to break it to you, but I’m on annual leave until [end date] and will have limited access to my emails until then.

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    Before each holiday or irregular business day that your office will be closed, follow this checklist to ensure your excellent customer service continues and your business remains safe throughout the closure.

    I’ll be back in the office on August 7th and if all of the stars are in alignment, I’ll respond to this email before Labor Day.
    Total and utter cringe! Sounds like something a cheeky 11th grader would think is the epitome of word smithing. If someone sent this out at my work everyone would make fun of them and HR would make them change the message.

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    Not every vacation you take is going to leave you completely unreachable. For those days when you’re out of the office but are still checking and responding to email or phone calls, make sure your message explicitly states that people will still be able to reach you, and how:

    6. "Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I'll get back to you. Thank you."
    I will be out of the office starting (Starting Date) through (End Date) returning(Date of Return).

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    Honestly, what drives me crazy is after someone has emailed me, gets the out of office, then *does* email someone else instead of waiting for me to get back. Yet said someone doesn’t email me back to say “see you’re out, person X got it taken care of, you can disregard my email”. So then I waste time seeing the initial request and following up. Has anyone found a good wording / other solution to know if the request was completed by someone else?

    You don’t have to inform people why you are out of the office, adds Gugino Panté. “Because of privacy or safety issues, you may not want to state that you are on vacation or at a conference,” she says. “Simply stating that you are out of the office should be sufficient enough.”
    Hi there, Thank you for reaching out! We are currently in the middle of our busy season so our reply may be delayed up to three days. We appreciate your patience while we look into this for you! Thank you.

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    A good out-of-office email reply incorporates the following elements: The exact dates of your time off — If you are simply re-activating the message you used Typos — Your out-of-office message could go to anyone, from your manager to your top client. Avoid embarrassment by proofreading it carefully.It is also a good time to start doing daily good deeds. Happy holidays. “May the arrival of Christmas fill your heart with joy when you feel that by sharing with your loved ones an atmosphere of love and peace reigns because each of you carries God in your hearts.”

    I would follow up with my coworkers before I follow up with an outside client. “I see an email from Wakeen asking for a copy of the 2020 TPS report. Before I follow up with him, did anyone get him the copy?” It just make a department look dysfunctional if they can’t communicate internally and get their act together before contacting an outside person.
    Eh, figuratively. It’s like saying I’ve gone to lunch even though I’m still right here eating at my desk–the point is that I’m unavailable to do any work.

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I had a boss who was mad if I put his full name on my OOO. I was his deputy. He said people should know how to contact him if I just use his first name. He thought the public would get his info (public-facing office but we didn’t correspond with the public at our level, of course). It made me feel very very silly to comply.

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I appreciate your attempt to connect with me today, but unfortunately I am no longer available at this email, or organization.

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I feel for the people who have to cover others’ out-of-office for a few hours or a day, just as much as I feel for those who have to arrange cover whenever they’re out for a meeting. If the purpose is showing demanding clients that they can get a quick response to their issues at any time, then…won’t talking to someone who doesn’t have any context about their business piss them off even more? It all feels like unnecessary stress to put on people.

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Smugness: it’s almost impossible to dodge in an OOO. London-based poet Rishi Dastidar, whose debut collection Ticker-Tape is billed as a “maximalist take on 21st Century living”, embraces this and lets his inner show-off have free rein by penning poems for his OOOs. “Yes, the tone of these poems is a little self-satisfied – but if you have to tell colleagues you are away, why not try and do it with a little style and pizzaz?” he points out, adding that it’s also one of the few mediums where you’re guaranteed an audience. Here’s how he explained he was away in France:

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