Way too long, but so hilarious. I don’t get condescending at all. I’m drooling while imagining I had this on my work phone when everyone thought their requests were life or death. Actually, I wanted my message to say, “I realize you think your request is vitally important, but I’d like to reassure you: I worked in a hospital years ago, and good news! It’s really not.”
Automated reply messages are a great way for businesses to fulfill customer support expectations of receiving a prompt response for their chat or email requests. Automated reply messages empower businesses to:

Oh heavens no. All I ask of an out of office is that it tells me when the person will be back (if known) and who I can contact in the interim.
One may also ask, how do you write a holiday notice? Holiday Notice Letter Writing Tips Specify the duration of leave and name of the colleague who will handle your work responsibilities in your absence. Furnish contact details for any urgent requirement and mention your date of joining back work. I will be out of the office starting (Starting Date) through (End Date) returning(Date of Return). If you need immediate assistance during my absence, please contact (Contacts Name) at (Contacts Email Address). Otherwise I will respond to your emails as soon as possible upon my return. Include the date of your return. Let people know of any other individuals they can contact for help in your absence. If people typically contact you for a certain type of information or approval, let readers know how they can find the information or get the approval in your absence. How do you write a professional out of office message?