Thank you for your email! I am on vacation. Vacations are not for checking email, so I won’t be doing that. Fortunately, we rarely encounter life and death situations in the world of [INDUSTRY TYPE], and aren’t we all glad for that? If you think I’m checking email because you just received an email from me, that is only because I figured out the pixies that send emails on a schedule. Really, I’m not checking email.
I want to be clear that I don’t think OOO responders are the solution to the larger problems of worker inequality or the broad American cultural attitudes that celebrate and encourage overwork. That would be silly. The big remedies for what ails modern work will likely require workers organizing and employers recognizing and granting protections. Large companies will have to stop prioritizing shareholder at the expense of their workers. I’m aware how unlikely this feels in practice and how a thoughtful auto reply email feels like applying a band-aid on a gunshot wound. I get it.

Yes, qualifiers can be helpful. Limited vs no email access, out of the office versus working off site, regular out of the office versus extended leave, etc.
I’ll return on [date] or after I watch [favorite holiday movie] one too many times (whichever comes first)—and will respond to your message at that time.