“Hi, Sorry I missed your call/text. I’m currently out of the office and will not be back until Feb 2. My colleague [name] has agreed to respond on my behalf, so feel free to forward the message to [phone] if it is urgent. You can otherwise expect a response from me once I return. Thanks for understanding.”
Over time, I began to suspect that those who might be telling the truth (of which I suspected there were very few), would mention their relationship to the person and possibly the cause, for example “My grandmother just passed away after surgery.” The ones who left it wide open (“someone close has recently died”) led me to imagine that it could be a random person in their city that they read about in the news, their goldfish, or perhaps a distant relative who had passed away in the previous few years.

We are here to help, so you can focus on your time off! The less time you spend on the operational bits and pieces, the more time you will have to do some awesome reading.
Hah! Maternity/parental leave is often 1 year here, so there is zero expectation you will read or “catch up” afterwards. We keep our email addresses during where I work (Canadian government), so it’s standard to put an OOO that just says “on parental leave. Please contact X instead” with no reference to actually reviewing any of those emails, and often not even a projected date of return since people often flex their return date or take extra time, or just return to a different position entirely (out of choice).