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voicemail message script business

I absolutely hate this and it would definitely irritate me if received. I agree with the letter writer that it comes over as condescending and also a bit passive agressive in places. I’m definitely not the audience for this one! Presumably this is an internal only version and the company culture would find this cute / funny.
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Check your insurance is up to date and covers the holiday periodMake sure you have sufficient funds in your business account to cover any regular payments for salaries and other billsClarify with staff their exact leave dates and note themSend out your invoices to clientsPay your supplier invoicesSettle your finances and pays
You are hereby informed that a large number of our company workers are going to take their days off due to extreme weather conditions prevailing in the city. Due to this, there would be much difficulty in coming and going so it is a mutual decision from the heads of our office to make it closed from 25-12-20XX to 02-01-20XX. This temporary closure will result in delayed answers to your queries, so these will be answered right after the opening of our office. All the delays are regretted.

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we had something similar at one phone-heavy place I used to work and it was actually extremely useful – everyone set their voicemail when they got in, and people would include if they were offsite (so worth ringing their mobile) or likely to be otherwise unreachable, and who to contact if your query was urgent. only took a minute to set, and was super useful to me as someone who had to talk to maybe 10-20 people on the phone in a day.
I say “as soon as possible,” which to me means “as soon as possible after I get back to the office, make myself a coffee, throw out the milk I forgot in the fridge, chat with my colleagues a bit, check in with my boss, and triage all the new emails and VMs that came in while I was away.”

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The UPS driver is scheduled to pick me back up on the eighth. He should deliver me back to the office by the ninth (assuming he’s not late like he was this time).

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Thankfully, setting this up in Gmail is easy to do and only takes a few minutes. Here are step-by-step instructions for setting your out-of-office message, plus some helpful examples you can steal for your own use:

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    In the excitement of office parties and the long-awaited holiday break, don’t leave your office closure preparations till the last minute. Here is a holiday checklist you can share across your organisation to tick off the year and the office:
    One of your European connections here. When I know the person covering me will also be away for part of the time I’m gone, I get another colleague to cover for those dates and put that in my OOO. Saying “Your e-mail will not be read” or similar is really off-putting. The youth worker at my church does this and I find it infuriating. Of course it won’t. That’s the point of a holiday. When I get an answer from someone who reads his e-mails on vacation I’m pleasantly surprised.

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    I’d probably say something like “I am unavailable until X date. Please contact [colleague] or [colleague] if you need assistance. Thanks!”

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    I had to explain to her that the email was still there, just like a voicemail, they’d get it on their return.

    It’s common practice to prepare an email vacation autoresponder for when you are going to be away from work for a lengthy period of time. But in many cases that isn’t enough to give you – and those who may be wanting to reach you – peace of mind while you are gone.
    There’s a grim, apologetic vibe to these messages — I’m sorry I’m taking time for myself but I’ll try to check in on occasion! They’re a vivid reflection of a work culture that valorizes constant productivity and the near-total overlap of work and life. But they’re also do a terrible job of what they’re intended to do, e.g., set realistic expectations for both sender and recipient. A vague OOO message traps both parties in an uncomfortable liminal space where both productivity and rest go to die. The original sender is left unsure if they’ll be getting a timely response or a whether the email will go ignored for a time or forever. The original recipient has taken what is a rock solid excuse (time off) and cheapened it, offering a backdoor for email guilt to creep in.

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    I just say that I’m out of the office. Practically, it makes no difference where this office is located.
    There are some places where the culture absolutely embraces this type of…expression so it may be that it works just fine.

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Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

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Every time the grocery store clerk asks, “Would you like to donate to breast cancer?” I have to bite my tongue.

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I’m not sure I agree. Just as it’s part of the job for someone to handle their emails, it’s also part of the job for the sender to make sure that their request is sent to someone who is available.

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