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I think it’s irritating and condescending and could have been funny if only one of the goofy elements was incorporated, instead of trying to make a cohesive comedy bit. It seems like the points should be reversed. Most urgent to least urgent. If I have a truly urgent issue I don’t want to read through that I should ask myself if it’s important and urgent. If it’s something that can wait, I’ll just expect a delay. If it’s not important or at least worth communicating, I wouldn’t be sending the email.
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I’ve started using one that’s short/sweet but still has a little bit of JAZZ. I can’t take credit for it – I saw it on Twitter a few years ago. It’s been received well both inside and outside of my organization. Here it is. If it speaks to you, please yoink it and use it as you wish:
I think you talk to person X and ask them to cc you when they are dealing with things sent to them because of your OOO.

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This is how my voicemails to my doctor’s office, my son’s doctor’s office, his daycare, etc. all go. Actually, the few times I leave voicemails beyond that, this is how they go.
Hello! I am off for the weak on the beach, convincing myself that science is right when it says shark attacks are rare. I’ll be shore to get back to you, but your email may get swallowed by my inbox – or, you know, sharks. Please add all finished lists on the board as you would regularly and see [NAME] if you have any questions. If its pressing, send to [EMAIL]. If it’s not, and you’re just bored, here are some facts you might find interesting: ___

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Apart from this, try to limit the details you provide in the message. You just need to inform that you are going on a vacation; you need not give the exact plans. Also, refrain from making it funny. It can be easily misinterpreted and leave a wrong impression.

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A client rings to tell you your out-of-office message has a typo in it, or, worse, is mind-numbingly boring. Suddenly you’re wrenched out of holiday mode and back into the throes of work, weeping as you log back into your email server to change your response as your shandy grows warm and flat.

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    Yeah I think it’s fine if someone is out for a long period of time. It’s simply too much of an endeavor to find the few relevant emails out of thousands. But for a week or two, I’m sorry but you have to manage your inbox. I know, it sucks. We all get too many dumb emails.

    Mine says something along the lines of “I’m currently away from my desk, and will be back online on Monday, 7 July…” and (if it’s a longer period and not just the next working day) perhaps also something like “If your enquiry is urgent, please resend to…” so someone else can deal with it.
    Thank you for your email. I’ll be offline through mid-January without access to email. In the interim, please contact Maya Schwartz, a sales and marketing manager here, at [email protected].

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    She’s been with our org for 32 years, haha. And our departmental email policy for the last at least eight of them has been “check your email at least twice a day.” Definitely no expectations of a 15 minute turnaround.

    Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
    There is no built-in auto reply-feature in iOS to set out off office message for iPhone to auto-reply for text and calls. Auto-reply on Text message on iPhone is an essential feature that is useful when you go for a vacation or out of station for a while. However, there is a workaround to set auto-reply text messages on the iPhone for calls and texts. This will work all the time and send iMessage auto-reply for incoming calls and text messages to your iPhone.

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    You are regarded as a responsible netizen when you imbibe the habit of leaving out-of-office messages. For employers and HR managers, it is worthwhile to teach this practice to your employees. Out-of-office emails show that you are polite and professional, lending credibility to your corporate culture.

    I’m the same. I don’t find it condescending, it’s kinda eye-rolly but also kinda charming! I get why it could be annoying if you need info quickly. But really, why not inject a little silliness into boilerplate messages like this, as long as it’s not disrespectful or really out of step with your field culture?
    Here's an auto-reply I created for my support account having some fun. But also throwing out an extra lifeline on the off chance I'm eaten by a bear. If the boss doesn't notice I'm missing, surely people emailing me will, right?

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    My OOO auto reply is fairly detailed. I have links to information for products I work with, an alternate point of contact for people to approach, etc. It’s really a CYA thing. What irks me about some OOO auto replies is when the person who is out has an alternate point of contact who is also out. Both are obvious planned absences, and both people are on the same team. Don’t they talk to one another about vacation??

    Our offices are closed until [date]. If it’s something you need urgent assistance with, contact [Name] on [phone number] or [Email] Hello! Thank you for your email. I am currently out of the office. We have closed for [holiday name]. I will be returning on [date]. If you require immediate assistance, you may reach me at – [mobile number]. Thanks!
    Once you’ve finally crossed off those last-minute items on your to-do list and are ready to check out of work mode for while, there’s just one last thing you need to do – set your out-of-office message.

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what to put as your voicemail greeting

If you’re taking a few days off and want to respond only to urgent emails, this template would be a great fit.

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You cannot be sure how quickly your colleagues will respond to messages when you are absent, so avoid promising any instant assistance. Moreover, ensure you take permission from your co-workers before giving their details in the message. They might be too busy to substitute.

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