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I say “I am out of the office without access to email” to avoid the expectation that I’ll check on vacation. With a contact for anything urgent given.

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6.) Добро пожаловать в «Вася Пупкин и Ко». Наша горячая телефонная линия не работает в течение праздников. Точное время открытия можно найти на нашем сайте по адресу www.john doe.de. Мы благодарим вас за оказанное доверие и желаем вам и вашим близким счастливых праздников и счастливого Нового года.
While this sounds kind of onerous, I don’t think it’s actually a bad idea to say “I don’t have this info but I’ll get back to you when I find out” if it’s going to take a while. .

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Duh. We're in the travel industry. Of course, an out of office message involving dolphin-speak would be at the top of our list! Who doesn't love a dolphin?
Based on the nature of duties and/or unexpected developments, some non-exempt staff members who are unable to leave early may take off alternate hours during that work week (at days and times designated by their supervisors). If operational demands require that exempt staff members be present after 2 p.m., the possibility of alternative time off will be determined by the employee's supervisor.

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Does your business operate outside typical working hours? Let people know with a message. Thanks for your message! Craig’s is an Australian-based company, therefore you can reach us during our business hours 6 pm – 2 am EST.
The holidays bring cheer, excitement, and for many, a mailbox full of holiday cards from businesses. As a hard working professional, you may not have the time to craft the perfect holiday card message from your company. That's why we've assembled a list of 50 sample holiday card messages that you can use in this year's holiday cards. From Christmas …

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The message will be automatically triggered in response to any incoming text received while the away message is turned on. Like this:

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My OOO auto reply is fairly detailed. I have links to information for products I work with, an alternate point of contact for people to approach, etc. It’s really a CYA thing. What irks me about some OOO auto replies is when the person who is out has an alternate point of contact who is also out. Both are obvious planned absences, and both people are on the same team. Don’t they talk to one another about vacation??

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    I once had a coworker who would put up OOOs for absolutely everything, and it irked me to an unreasonable level. Spending the afternoon working with a colleague on a project? OOO. Just returned from vacation and trying to catch up? OOO. A lot of meetings that day? OOO.

    We hereby inform you that due to the prevailing hazardous situation of [X], it is decided that all our offices in the city [X] will remain closed. At this time, it would be very difficult for all of you to come out of your homes for office as there is unrest everywhere and one never knows when his turn will come. So, by caring for the safety of all of you people it is the mutual decision from all of us that our office will remain closed during this period. As to open it in this prevailing situation is not less than a risk. So, it will remain closed for a long period of time.
    Each time McClure makes an appearance in these out-of-office messages, he "speaks" on behalf of my colleague and alludes to the previous auto-responses in which he starred. It's a mild form of self-deprecating humor — as if to say, "I know, I'm out of the office again" — made only funnier by the made-up teaser title included in the last line.

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    If you’re out sick or caring for a loved one, you may not feel comfortable sharing the details. You can simply use words like “family situation” or “family matters,” which Smith says automatically garner some goodwill.

    “some things are MORE important than work” definitely comes off as aggressive to me. “How DARE you email me when I’m doing something MORE IMPORTANT, and for that matter why aren’t YOU spending time with YOUR family?!”
    Compelling visuals catch the eye, bring automatic messages to life, and they add a spark of creativity and imagination to your message.

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    I get really annoyed at people that don’t have put up OOO messages and I am left wondering if they are out or just ignoring me. I collaborated with a woman who was out frequently but never put an OOO. She also got very prickly if she felt you were going around her. So anytime we didn’t get a response from her, we had to go through this guessing game of “do we wait, do we talk to someone else, how important is our request.” I was glad when she moved on.

    The incensed people also tended to be the type to submit things at the very last minute or want an immediate answer that could’ve been solved via google.
    I’ll be sure to reply to your message when I wade through my inbox upon my return. If your message is time sensitive, please send an email to [contact name] at [contact email].

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    Inform your landlord that you will be closing down for the holiday – exact dates and timeAdvise your staff not to disclose to everyone your office is empty for the holidaysCancel or reschedule any possible deliveries or services (i.e. newspapers, postcards, packages, suppliers)Advise any business-related deliveries or clients about the close down datesAdvise the office cleaner of closure dates. Organise a thorough clean when office is emptySet your answer machine message with emergency contact messageSet an “out of office” auto-reply emailOrder supplies needed in January and ensure delivery isn’t during the closure period

    The only thing that isn’t boilerplate in mine is the inclusion of “But what if I have a word emergency?” before the who to contact stuff. I removed it at one point and people asked me to put it back in because it made them smile. And yep, we’re writers so the only emergencies we deal with are ones related to words.
    Live support will be unavailable during our closure. Emergency support requests should be submitted via our contact form or via Basecamp if your project is currently active. We wish all of our clients a very happy and safe 4th of July holiday. We look forward to working with you when we get back from a well deserved long weekend. See you next week!

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I’ve started using one that’s short/sweet but still has a little bit of JAZZ. I can’t take credit for it – I saw it on Twitter a few years ago. It’s been received well both inside and outside of my organization. Here it is. If it speaks to you, please yoink it and use it as you wish:

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