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I’ve never had a funny / pithy OOO. Clearly I’m missing out! It’s literally, “Hi, I’m OOO from x to x, and will be returning x. Please contact Fergus if you need immediate assistance.” Maybe I should live a little!

Here are some do's and don’ts for crafting an effective outgoing message, along with some out-of-office message examples: The exact dates of your time off — If you are simply reactivating the message you used during your last time away, make sure you change the dates, and double-check to ensure they’re right. The reason for your absence — Colleagues might still attempt to get in touch with you if they think you’ll be checking in. They’ll be less likely to try to contact you if they know you’re taking personal or vacation time. The people who can help while you’re out — Provide their names, phone numbers and email addresses. If you handle multiple areas, specify each person’s area of expertise so colleagues and clients know exactly where to go for assistance. What to avoid in automatic replies
But perhaps we have it all wrong, and are simply enslaving ourselves further to technology by toiling over OOOs that are personality-packed, marketing-friendly perfection. Maybe we need to be altogether more standoffish if we want to make our OOOs really work for us? NYU Professor Meredith Broussard, who’s the author of Artificial Unintelligence: How Computers Misunderstand the World, takes the inspiration for her OOO from US writer, poet and children’s author E.B. White, who once turned down an invitation from President Eisenhower with the words “I must decline, for secret reasons”. Accordingly, Broussard’s OOO reads simply: “I am out of the office, for secret reasons.”