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Okay. So, it’s not to my exact personal tastes — to me, it’s overly wordy — but it’s probably fine for their culture and I’d be mildly amused if I got it. I see where you’re seeing condescension, but I think you can read it without that too.
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closed Monday, September 7, 2015. We wish you and your families a happy holiday! Thank you for your continued business! Your friends at: American Access Casualty Company Questions? Please contact your Underwriter, Underwriting Department …
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Perhaps I’m you guys’ worst nightmare, but for the past couple of years I’ve been writing haikus for my OOO, which give a flavour of what I’m out doing. A couple of examples:
They only discovered this AFTER the Christmas rush. Thankfully there were no client meltdowns that year or it could have been a lot worse.

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Hijacking this with a question- what do you do when you no longer have an co-workers to serve as an out of office contact? I find myself putting up the OOO less and less, because there’s no one left to respond to anything in my absence (beyond my supervisor who has no knowledge of how to do the tasks of my job).

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    It doesn’t matter whether you’re going to be out of the office for a few days, or a few months – if you’re going on vacation, it’s critical to remember to set up your out-of-office autoresponder.
    If you require immediate assistance, please email [email protected] in my absence. Thanks.

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    Oh shoot. You need something and I’m unavailable today. Here’s the good news: you have options.

    Yes, mine (for external e-mails) typically says somethingalong the lines of “I’m out of the office until [date/time] and messages to this address are not monitored in my absence. I will respond as soon as possible on my return. If your message is urgent, please re-send to my assistant [email address] or telephone [assistant’s number]” Internal it will usually just say “I’m out until [date/time] pass any urgent enquiries to [co-workers] ” although my assistant and a couple of others have my home number and personal e-mail so can get hold of me in a genuine emergency, and I will sometimes speak to them in advance if I’m willing to lower the bar on what amounts to an emergency, but I would not expect any of my employees to do that !
    The office holiday greeting wishes for the office can be sent through greeting cards and greetings mails. One can also send video clips with funny holiday greetings recordings sent to the office on a DVD and marked to the employees. The holiday greetings would make the office and its staff feels good and special.

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    I’ll be out of the office from 07.07. until 16.07.2020 with no access to my mailbox. Please contact (COLLEAGUE NAME), [email protected].
    However, I will be taking periodic breaks from binge-watching everything I’ve missed to check my email [once per day/every evening/occasionally] while I’m away.

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    NOW READ: How to keep shoppers happy and secure sales in the bustling Christmas period

    Note: For Outlook 2007, to turn off out-of-office replies, select Tools > Out of Office Assistant and uncheck the Send Out of Office auto-replies checkbox.
    Our Public Service Announcement: Each year, Americans leave 700 million DAYS of paid time off on the table. Stop and think about how many great out of office reply opportunities are missed because of this!

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It’s possible I might quote from some responses to this in an upcoming column, so please note if you don’t want me to do that with yours!

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How to enable Multi Factor Authentication (MFA) when traveling outside the United States.

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Voice mail is a strictly worse medium than almost any alternative. You don’t get the opportunity to converse and ask questions back and forth like you do with a phone call; you can’t extract information efficiently from the message like you can with an email (the old “ugh, I have to listen to this entire message over again just to check one thing he said at the end” scenario).

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This particular message is too freakin long and it makes me watch it, too. Har har, thanks for wasting my time.

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