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Now that you know what you should and shouldn’t include, how do you go about crafting the perfect out-of-office vacation message?

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16. "Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven't reached the Sorting Hat — it's the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I'll return your call as soon as possible."
Yes! I hate the “at my earliest convenience” for the same reason – it comes across as “I’ll do it when I feel like it”. I would only use that phrase at work in terms of someone else (ie “at YOUR earliest convenience”). .

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I do this because my industry’s norm is that people check their email on vacation, at least once or twice, but I don’t do it. I don’t have work email on my phone so it’s technically true.
Anybody that might need me that quickly should have access to my calendar and can see I’m in a meeting. Anybody that can’t see my calendar shouldn’t expect a reply in an hour unless I’d said I’d be available or something.

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Most awkward/painful one I ever saw was a former co-worker. ~10 years ago when he left on paternity leave, he said as much in his out of office. The baby was stillborn. It stayed up for the month or so until he returned. Those of us in the same office of course knew the situation, but we regularly communicated directly with multiple offices in different states and countries. The very first time I saw it I was overcome with dread about how many congratulations he would receive and have to tell the story to. I was much younger and afraid to rock the boat then, but I think now I would push his manager and IT to use their ability to access his account and change it.
Once I come back on *date*, I will get back to you. Maybe I can even tell you about my adventures.

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It got bad enough that others began begging someone to cull the list. Reply all, of course (thankfully it didn’t turn into an explosion of replies all). Someone finally did remove the email from the list.

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Naturally, she had to take the day off — and couldn’t let folks know with any old generic auto-response. Instead, she made a guessing game of it in her out-of-office email, which you can use for yourself, below.

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    Let’s be honest, you worked so hard and now it’s time to have the well-deserved vacation. There is nothing bad in wanting to show off where you are going or what you are doing.

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    My colleagues have this weird habit of not using out of office messages, but instead, sending all staff or all manager emails before they go on vacation letting everyone know they’re going to be gone for x amount of time. It’s really odd. I do not do this.

    Hey, I was looking for useful information on iPads and just came across your blog and found it quite interesting, can’t wait to see your new post. You’ve been sharing really insightful posts and I’m an avid reader of your posts. Keep sharing the knowledge and adding value to our lives.
    There were a lot of bilingual staff at my last job, and they always did their out of office messages in both languages. But who knows, maybe the Welsh translator was in a rush and forgot. An agency that handles government translations like road signs might be expected have such rules. On the other hand, never underestimate the boneheadedness of the monolinguals. Especially English ones.

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    From March 30th 2018 until April 02nd 2018 our office will be closed due to the holidays. From April 03rd 2018 we are back as usual for you and answer your requests as soon as possible.

    Hey there! I’m on holiday right now. I’ll try to reply to your message ASAP. Talk to you later!
    Earlier this year, British comedian Steve Coogan underscored a growing trend to rethink the OOO when he used it not to advertise his own absence, but rather the return to our screens of his blazer-clad alter ego, hapless media personality Alan Partridge. Written in the broadcaster’s inimitable voice, it had stern words for anyone who dared email him: “I’m not in the office so both cannot and will not respond to your email,” it began. “If your email is urgent, perhaps you should have tried calling instead. The very fact you were content to type out your query long hand and settle back to wait for a reply suggests you can wait, even if you’ve put a red exclamation next to your email to make it stand out in my inbox. Won’t wash with me, that.”

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    Anything worded like Option 1 would never fly at my workplace, exactly because of this. I have colleagues who complain to upper management if their non-urgent tech support questions (that a whole troubleshooting website already answers) don’t get an answer from me or my boss within half a day. And oh, did I mention our job is not actually tech support?

    I’m with you on this one. Management has access to a mansion and a townhouse in two different fabulous vacation destinations and it burns my butt every time I see an out of office from one of them (98% white men) going on about how they’ll be enjoying this perk. In the meantime, a few years back we had to eliminate free coffee at the offices because business was not good enough (it was eventually brought back after company president realized after a year that people were really pissed).
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If I got an OoO just to tell me to have a good day, I would find that person and throw water on their computer. They’re obviously not qualified to operate one.

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The worst one I ever received was from a coworker (senior to me, but not my manager) many years ago. I’ll paraphrase it as my memory isn’t great:

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Top of the iceberg though. Oh, and she also works with external contacts, including prospective clients.

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