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I don’t think OP meant condescending to the person’s teammates so much as condescending to the reader. The person over-explains each option and I can see how it would read as ‘wow, you are really dumb and obviously need some handholding to figure out simple decision-making!’ That likely wasn’t the intent, I understand, but I get why people might take it that way.

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4.) Benvenuti alla John Doe Solutions. A causa di un evento interno, il nostro servizio di segreteria non è disponibile oggi. Potete lasciare un messaggio. Saremo nuovamente al vostro servizio lunedì. Ringraziamo per la vostra comprensione.
“It wasn’t a vacation, but I didn’t want to deal with normal business stuff,” he says. “Humor is sticky. People laughed … and they left me alone.” .

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“Hi, Thank you for contacting me. I’m currently out of the office for a conference and will not be available until [date]. I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”
I often see people put public holiday notices in their email signatures a week or two in advance, especially where there are multiple affected dates in a row. We are a very date-dependent field, though.

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I just say out of the office. It helps that I have a room that, among other things, functions as an office, but I don’t think that would change my reply. Whether its a real or metaphorical office, you’re still not at work, so it counts.
In all seriousness, you've probably ended up here because you were looking for some inspiration on your out of office message. You saw that they can range from funny to outright sales-y to a serious teaching moment. There's a few other things we want to make sure you don't leave out of your next out of office reply. Here's our three rules for scratching out that next OOO:

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One of our support champions will attend you shortly. You are [number] in the queue. Your wait time will be approximately [minutes]. Thank you. We appreciate your patience.

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    Here, we’ll go over what’s required in an out-of-office email responder or email greeting, as well as a few ways you can jazz up your out-of-office message (and potentially making your colleagues wish they thought this up first!)
    But for employees at Daimler things are a little different. Email these people while they are on holiday and you will get a message like this:

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    If you’re an events-based business, use your out of office auto-reply as a way to promote your upcoming conferences, sessions, and speakers! Jason here, thanks for reaching out to ThinkTank! I’m currently at a speaking event in Chicago. Find out if I’ll be coming to your city here https://txt.st/PQB

    Website: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/seven-examples-professional-out-office-autoresponder-email-ramadoss
    Voice mail is a strictly worse medium than almost any alternative. You don’t get the opportunity to converse and ask questions back and forth like you do with a phone call; you can’t extract information efficiently from the message like you can with an email (the old “ugh, I have to listen to this entire message over again just to check one thing he said at the end” scenario).

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    Out of Office replies can be turned on very easily and even timed to expire at a designated time. But did you know you can customize your OOF so that some people do not get the auto reply, or that they get a customized reply different than the rest of the group? The steps below will show you how.

    An out of office message lets you keep people informed and tells them how to proceed in your absence. You can also select options for urgent matters within your out of office message.
    You can set the ‘favourites’ phone calls to pass through the DND but does this also apply to their text messages or only their phone calls?

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    The holiday out of office best wishes are sent to the offices when the staff of the office remains out of office for the holidays. The wishes are sent to the office marked to the staff to make them feel good. The wishes can be sent through mails and text messages to the office mails and numbers.

    I am in London May 29th - June 4th, so email replies may be tardy due to the curvature of the earth and the sun… and you know… science and stuff.
    Of course, if you’re expecting something (or someone) urgent to pop into your inbox, send them a separate note with your personal email or phone number. Alternatively, you can also just make sure whoever your go-to contact is has that information in case you do need to be reached. Once you handle that, you can do what your out-of-office says you’re doing and actually spend the day recharging.

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Let them know that while you’re not technically OOO, you aren’t operating at typical capacity.

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I will return with a glowing tan on [insert date] and respond promptly to all emails. If your request is time sensitive, please email [insert name] at [insert email].

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There’s nothing awful or offensive about this message, but it’s also not very good. Yes, it provides the courtesy of letting the sender nominally know that you’re going to be slower than usual to respond. That’s nice. The problem is in this bit: “may be slow to respond to email.” Another popular variation: “might be slower than usual to respond.”

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