Once I got an auto reply from a stakeholder on a project that said something to the effect of “Thanks for contacting me. Due to the large volume of email I receive, I don’t read them all. If I haven’t responded within 3 business days, please try again.”
Please note that all queries and orders posted at least [X] days before [starting date of the holidays] or during holidays will be processed immediately once we are back at the store.

I work for a Japanese company which has a regular rotation of engineers who come over for 2-4 years so we get some enjoyable translations for all manner of communication.
Yes, I phoned a dentist office late in the day for a reinfected root canal problem and got a cutsy “humphrey bogart” fake reply on their voicemail — I thought it was extremely inappropriate for a business office to use something like this. It was hard to find it funny, especially because while calling me “sweetheart” and all that, the message didn’t actually tell me when they might return my call (later that day? Next day? Next week? Never?) nor did they offer any options for emergency contact with another dentist.