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Further, given how poorly humor — especially sarcastic or snarky, even if mild — translates in text, you're running a moderate risk of pissing someone off through no fault of their own, for no reason other than to indulge yourself.

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We have an office with a phone number and 4 people that work in it to specifically answer these inquiries.
This is how my voicemails to my doctor’s office, my son’s doctor’s office, his daycare, etc. all go. Actually, the few times I leave voicemails beyond that, this is how they go. .

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You should use your out of office email whenever you’re going to be away from the office – whether it’s for a day, a week, or even longer.
You cannot be sure how quickly your colleagues will respond to messages when you are absent, so avoid promising any instant assistance. Moreover, ensure you take permission from your co-workers before giving their details in the message. They might be too busy to substitute.

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5.) Caros clientes, nosso escritório estará fechado de 24 de dezembro a 2 de janeiro. Você pode nos contatar, como de costume, na segunda-feira 05 de janeiro. Desejamos a você e sua família um Feliz Natal e um feliz ano novo.
I’ll be back on [DAY OF WEEK], [DATE]. No explanations, no apologies, no promises to respond, no redirects to other colleagues. It works.

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For non-urgent inquiries during my absence, you can contact [Name] at [email] or [phone number], and they will be happy to assist.

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Don’t forget our office and Contact Centre will be closed tomorrow; [date], for the public holiday. You can still use our internet banking, mobile app and phone banking during this time.

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    How do I add the District Events and Religious Holiday calendars to my calendar in Outlook?

    Until I’m back at the office, here are the links to my social media: [FACEBOOK LINK] [TWITTER LINK] [INSTAGRAM LINK]
    Our office will be closed on [date] for the public holiday and will reopen again as normal on [date]. Contact details for emergency can be found on our website.

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    This particular message is too freakin long and it makes me watch it, too. Har har, thanks for wasting my time.

    6.( مرحبا بكم في .John Doe خطنا الهاتفي الساخن متاح خلال فترة الاعياد. مواعيد العمل ويمكن الاطلاع على موقعنا على doe.de. www.john نشكركم على ثقتكم ونتمنى لكم وأحبائك أعيادا سعيدة وسنة جديدة سعيدة.
    This auto-detection will be easy for you to send and an auto-message from iPhone while driving. You can customize this auto message to use in DND mode and decide who can send this auto message while you drive. You have the option of “No One, Recents, Favorites, All Contacts” to select and send the auto message. iPhone Settings Tap on Do Not Disturb Scroll for “DO NOT DISTURB WHILE DRIVING” section. Tap on Activate Select Automatically or When connected to Car Bluetooth. Customize iPhone Auto Reply Messages for Calls

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    If you are going on a vacation, try to surprise your customers with an Out of office message that appears on your behalf and tension free and enjoy the vacation.

    Thank you for calling [Company Name]; we are currently closed in observance of [holiday name]. We will return on [Date] at 8 AM Eastern Time. If you would like to reach our Dial by Name Directory, please press 1. To leave a voicemail, please press 2. A representative will contact you upon our return. To repeat this menu, please press the # key. [If no response after a few seconds] Goodbye. Voicemail Greeting
    But it seems a bit too chock full of dismissive, thinky veiled put-downs really. I wouldn’t want to work for someone would lump the people who work for them as competent humans (oh-em-gee, thanks), is that the best they can do to describe people? Oh wait….they look out for her (is she a princess) and each other (should I start applauding now?). No one needs to call me or anyone else a rock star, best teapot decorator in the multiverse, or amazing humans all the time but the best she could crank out was competent + humans. I get the attempt to be witty but it’s really sad that she isn’t more generous.

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    We are here to help, so you can focus on your time off! The less time you spend on the operational bits and pieces, the more time you will have to do some awesome reading.

    Under “General,” scroll down to the “Vacation responder” section. Fill in your message and subject line and select the dates you’d like it to appear, then select “Vacation responder on” and then “Save Changes” to finish.
    too short, though – most of the time you should give a date of return to set expectation (and so I don’t bug you again before you’re back)

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This is what I’ve seen most often in my career. Problem is, the contact is almost always the admin. I’m the admin. Everyone’s idea of assistance is different. Often, I didn’t have the knowledge about the issue in order to be of any assistance. I wound up spending more time running around looking for answers than actually working on what was on my own plate. It’s exhausting. Otherwise known as “please don’t call us for unicorn problems when we handle llamas. Literally, we can’t do anything for unicorn problems.”

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Wishing you all of the Hope, Wonder, and Joy that the Season can bring!Warmest wishes of the Season from our family to yours.Let us cherish family and friends this Holiday Season.Wishing you a season filled with warm moments and cherished memories. Specify the duration of leave and name of the colleague who will handle your work responsibilities in your absence. Furnish contact details for any urgent requirement and mention your date of joining back work.

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How about a little retro concrete poetry – you know, where you arrange your words on the screen to form an image of a palm tree or a pina colada?

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Related PostsFirst Grown Up Job Guide: Preparing for annual leaveHow to Survive the First Day Back at the Office After a HolidayHow to take guilt free annual leaveThe Perfect OOO Templates for Christmas Break

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