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"Hello, you've reached [name] at [company]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your name and number, and I'll return your call as soon as I'm free. Thank you."

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Don’t know if those happen due to bad software, or a bad configuration decision, or just careless users, but those exhaust me.
(Aside: at my job, when you open a new browser window, a random picture of employee pets pops up. It changes every time. I could just refresh all day long.) .

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Thanks for your email. I am on leave on 4th January 2021. I will revert to you once I’m back to work on 5th January 2021.
If you’re interested in our [product/service]. Great! Read what our customers are saying about how awesome their experience has been – https://www.g2.com/products/nethunt-crm/reviews

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Meanwhile, I do sometimes put up long ones when I will be away for some days during a season in which there are a confluence of three or four very likely reasons someone would contact me, and who else they need to contact isn’t the same. Like, it’s high llama grooming season, and generally during this month I get two or three requests per week for each of llama bleaching (for which my backup is Stella), llama shaving (for which it’s Arturo), and llama perming (for which it’s Carter). My message says I’ll be out until blah blah, and if it’s not an urgent llama grooming issue, I’ll get back to you after that, but meanwhile, for urgent llama grooming here’s who to call.
My colleagues have this weird habit of not using out of office messages, but instead, sending all staff or all manager emails before they go on vacation letting everyone know they’re going to be gone for x amount of time. It’s really odd. I do not do this.

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Should the matter be important, please contact Jim Ross ([email protected]) in my absence. Kind regards.

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Some people keep theirs quite corporate and formal, adopting a to-the-point notification, i.e.:

  • holiday message from business to customers

    Apologies, but I am currently knee deep in sushi and shrines on the other side of the world in Japan. I will be back to the usual tea and crumpets when I return to the office on [DAY OF WEEK], [DATE]. If you have an urgent query about [BUSINESS] before then, please don’t hesitate to contact [NAME] in my absence. [EMAIL]. Thanks so much.

    If you’re reading this, the train wasn’t able to push the DeLorean up to 88 miles per hour, and I’m stuck in 1885. I won’t be able to respond to emails until exactly 8:30 a.m. EST on [DAY OF WEEK], [DATE]. If there’s an emergency, good luck. Try to get ahold of Doc.
    Think about your tone and mood - you don't know who'll be getting these out of office auto reply emails so be mindful of the impression you make. Think of the boss, the CEO, a colleague you like, family members, clients you like. That said, there are some bridge-burner examples below to tempt you!

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    Listen, who doesn’t love a little furry animal friend? If you want to put a smile on your colleague’s face then why not include a cute little GIF or photograph of some adorable animals. Go on, brighten their day.

    Thanks for calling [Company Name]. Our offices are currently closed. Our business hours are from Monday to Friday 9 AM to 8 PM Eastern Time, and Saturday 9 AM to 12 PM Eastern. If you would like to leave a message in our general voice mailbox, press 1. A representative will contact you the following business day. To reach our company directory, press 2. For business hours and directions to our office, press 3. You may also email us at [company email]. For more information about our products and services, please visit us at [website]. To repeat this message, press the * key. 7. Direct Customers to Your Account Login Page
    There ought to be a word - and perhaps there is, in German - for the mix of feelings that accompanies composing and activating a holiday out-of-office message. There's smugness, of course, and a gratifying sense of laying down one's virtual tools after a horribly long shift. But for many of us, these nice feelings are tempered by the knowledge that in two weeks, refreshed but depressed, we will have to trawl through hundreds of emails, many of which will be conference room notifications for meetings about crises that have passed.

  • closing down business message

    8. Standard Out of the Office Email Template. [Greeting] I will be out of the office beginning on (Date of Leave) through (Return Date). For all time-sensitive matters, please contact (Contact Person) at (Contact Email Address).

    Automated reply messages can keep customers informed with the right responses that show your care towards them. With modern applications of Artificial Intelligence (AI), there are new avenues to automate your customer communication and handle customer requests more efficiently.
    The holidays are a time for warm wishes and for expressing gratitude for a great year gone by. While holiday messages may not take a lot of time to write, they are a great way to show you care and bring people closer, whether the recipient is your employee, colleague, or boss.

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    For immediate assistance, please contact my colleague [contact name] on [contact email/phone number] who should be able to help. Otherwise, I will respond to your email as soon as possible upon my return.

    Actually, it isn’t working other than when I am driving. I’ve contacted AT&T, and Apple today. It won’t just set as an auto reply whenever it is needed. I have clients texting me right now after hours and it is so stressful when I am trying to decompress and get away from the work day at night. Do you have any tips?? HELP!!
    Sample Phone Scripts. After Hours Voicemail for a Small Business: Thanks for calling (our company). The office is currently closed. Office hours are 9am to 6pm, Eastern Time. Please leave a message at the tone and we'll call you back on the next business day. Thank you. Voicemail Script: You have reached (your business name).

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I would be SUPER annoyed to get this! I agree it seems condescending and it’s just too long.

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Wishing you all of the Hope, Wonder, and Joy that the Season can bring!Warmest wishes of the Season from our family to yours.Let us cherish family and friends this Holiday Season.Wishing you a season filled with warm moments and cherished memories. Specify the duration of leave and name of the colleague who will handle your work responsibilities in your absence. Furnish contact details for any urgent requirement and mention your date of joining back work.

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You kicked off this week hard, meeting deadlines, delivering year-end results, tying up loose ends, and getting a jump-start on 2018 initiatives. With a sigh of relief you’re beaming with excitement for holiday cookie decorating, quirky family Christmas traditions, and sweet S-L-O-W mornings sipping coffee and relaxing (read: Netflix binge)… It’s time to wrap up the computer, well, save the paper for your presents, and set your out of the office message. We’re here to help.

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I kept it even though I received it four years ago because it made me laugh so much!

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