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If you need immediate assistance during my absence, please contact (Contact Person with email and phone). Upon my return, I will reply to your emails in a timely manner.
“This is MY NAME [from COMPANY] calling about REASON. Call me [by DAY/TIME] at (844) 387-6962 [pause, then repeat the number very slowly] that’s eight four four… three, eight, seven… six, nine, six, two.” .

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As 2020 winds down, lots of people (us included) will be out of the office celebrating the holidays with family and friends. Here are some really funny, clever and snarky out-of-office messages sent this year, courtesy of HubSpot Blogs (full article here).
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By bringing some automation into the process, you not only ensure that your staff is leaving vacation email messages that cover what’s needed, but you’re also eliminating the possibility that team members will forget to turn them on.
I can’t remember if this was just an outgoing voice message before routing you to an individual, or for a voicemail, but I remember a fun December phone message from a small company (I think an insurance agency) sung to the tune of a Christmas carol–something like Jingle Bells. The content was something like: you’ve reached our office during this holiday season, hope your holidays are happy, please 1) leave a message or 2) press X for who you want. Other than the tune, it wasn’t overly holiday-centric (for those who don’t celebrate the holidays) and it was cute.

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If you need immediate assistance during my absence, please contact (Contacts Name) at (Contacts Email Address). Otherwise, I will respond to your emails as soon as possible upon my return.

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I work for a hospital, in a role unrelated to patient care. My first out of the office message was just my name and department. After a series of increasingly plaintive messages one evening, I added, “If you are calling about patient care, you have the wrong number.”

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    You must pay close attention to signs of negative language or tendencies to sound monotonous. Instead, you can use simple, everyday vocabulary to convey your message.

    I feel for the people who have to cover others’ out-of-office for a few hours or a day, just as much as I feel for those who have to arrange cover whenever they’re out for a meeting. If the purpose is showing demanding clients that they can get a quick response to their issues at any time, then…won’t talking to someone who doesn’t have any context about their business piss them off even more? It all feels like unnecessary stress to put on people.
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    7.) Herzlich willkommen bei der Rechtsanwaltskanzlei Mustermann. Leider können wir Ihren Anruf derzeit nicht persönlich entgegen nehmen, da Sie während unserer Betriebsferien anrufen. Gerne können Sie uns eine E-Mail senden an [email protected] - Wir werden uns dann nach unserer Rückkehr umgehend bei Ihnen melden. In dringenden Fällen wenden Sie sich bitte an unsere Kanzleivertretung. Diese finden Sie auf unserer Homepage unter www.kanzlei-mustermann.de . Vielen Dank für Ihren Anruf. Auf Wiederhören!

    Inform your landlord that you will be closing down for the holiday – exact dates and timeAdvise your staff not to disclose to everyone your office is empty for the holidaysCancel or reschedule any possible deliveries or services (i.e. newspapers, postcards, packages, suppliers)Advise any business-related deliveries or clients about the close down datesAdvise the office cleaner of closure dates. Organise a thorough clean when office is emptySet your answer machine message with emergency contact messageSet an “out of office” auto-reply emailOrder supplies needed in January and ensure delivery isn’t during the closure period
    I also kinda want to sit here with popcorn and read all the shenanigans that are about to roll in.

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    Will this work if the phone is off or in airplane mode? I’m leaving the country and I can almost guarantee someone is going to text me and then get really mad even though I told them I was leaving.
    For me, life isn’t just about having my brain cryogenically frozen so I can be revived two hundred years after the apocalypse to dance with the chosen few along the gilded path to Valhalla.

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    If you’re traveling to a remote, mountainous area, why not jab some fun at your lack of WiFi in your autoresponder? Plus, that makes it less likely that people will expect an immediate response or continue to email you after the first try.

    We are here to help, so you can focus on your time off! The less time you spend on the operational bits and pieces, the more time you will have to do some awesome reading.
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Vacation Tracker helped me book some days off, so you will not be able to reach me until *date*! I will be busy surfing the waves in Portugal/ climbing Kilimanjaro/ taking pictures on the Great Wall of China/ exploring wildlife in Tanzania.

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Yeah, that bugs me because a) now I don’t know when you actually will be back, and b) leaves me unsure what other information in the message may also out of date

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We are closed on [your business' closed days]. Please leave us a message with your name, number, and any other necessary information, and we will return your call when the office reopens. Thank you for calling." As you can see, this professional voicemail greeting is similar to the absent receptionist greeting but more inclusive.

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I hope you’re having an A+ [week, month]. I’m out of the office at this great conference [link to the event]. It takes place on [date] at [time] in [city and location].

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