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I remember a phone tree that at the end of the normal boring options there was “To hear a duck press 8”

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Hey there! I’m on holiday right now. I’ll try to reply to your message ASAP. Talk to you later!
I dunno – I think it says more about the writer than the culture. I worked in tech where there were always a handful of people who would do stuff like this, but most people would keep it basic. I just think some people love putting funky or gimmicky twists on rote stuff. .

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Auto (I mean auto not manual sms send out) sms reply does not work for incoming calls only for messages. I see this issue is getting ignored though pointed out several times. Has anyone cracked this one?

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I don’t think OP meant condescending to the person’s teammates so much as condescending to the reader. The person over-explains each option and I can see how it would read as ‘wow, you are really dumb and obviously need some handholding to figure out simple decision-making!’ That likely wasn’t the intent, I understand, but I get why people might take it that way.
I’ll be back in front of my computer on [date] and will respond to your message at that time. If you need immediate assistance, please send an email to [Contact Name] at [contact email] so that the other elves in this workshop can help you out.

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True, but maybe the OOO writer has had issues in the past with people needing things while she’s out, incessant following up, not going to the right people, etc. She could also just think it’s funny though.

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    Seconded, with one exception: I got one once from a distant coworker which said “I have broken my arm in a kitten-related fall and will be out for (…)”. Everyone else uses boilerplate language so that one definitely stood out, but I thought it was the right level of mildly amusing.

    Don’t forget our office and Contact Centre will be closed tomorrow; [date], for the public holiday. You can still use our internet banking, mobile app and phone banking during this time.
    I am currently in London. My Inbox didn’t join me on this trip, so I’ll be sure to answer your msg as soon as I return back on Wednesday, MARCH XX, 2XXX.

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    But for employees at Daimler things are a little different. Email these people while they are on holiday and you will get a message like this:

    [Company name] office is closed today for the [holiday name] and will reopenam [date]. [Company name] Online and our website is available throughout.
    Or, in the case of Samarah Miel, owner of Amarillo Travel Network, her out of office message is a fabulous mix of sales/bonding with others in the industry/promoting her expertise to clients. Bonus points for including a video!

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    This holiday out-of-office email is definitely on theme, if not a little passive aggressive. If you're getting emails during the holidays, why not treat everything you receive that season like the present it is, and send a thank you note?

    Remember to change the dates, and double-check to make sure they’re correct if you’re resuming the same message you used the last time.
    Please note that you have already sent me one email. I’ll be 1 percent connected while on vacation so I’m not 100 percent panicked on return.

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    To learn more about what we do here at [Company Name], please visit our website here [link] and keep up to date with us by following us on Twitter [link] and subscribing to our newsletter [link]. You’ll be first to know the next time we host a webinar or workshop!

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    Not being in the office doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t develop your brand’s reputation. To do this, offer a link to some reviews about your product. In doing this, you drive traffic to your website and leave a good impression of your company… providing the reviews are positive. Here’s an example of this method:

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In this image, you’re letting people know you’re OOO with a “Missing” notice on a milk carton. Genius. Just be careful — this sort of autoresponder is best for internal emails, not for autoresponders that get sent to prospects and clients.

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We’re not saying you’re boring but you do work in a fairly serious corporate environment. As a result, your out of office needs to be quite to the point but you also like to throw in a little pitch too, you cheeky sod.

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Additionally, you can reference a person in charge of your business while you are way:

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I’ve started going really, really simple on OOO messages – literally just “I’ll be out of the office until ___, please contact ___ for questions about ____”

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