Once I got an auto reply from a stakeholder on a project that said something to the effect of “Thanks for contacting me. Due to the large volume of email I receive, I don’t read them all. If I haven’t responded within 3 business days, please try again.”
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I have a message saying I don’t listen to voice mail, because I only see that a message has been left after several days. No idea why the lag, it’s been the same despite going through two phones and two operators. There are always other ways to contact me. Last time I got voicemail it was the police, the officer was calling from a landline so he couldn’t text. Luckily it wasn’t urgent (he needed a witness statement, but I hadn’t witnessed anything of interest to the court).
Even the most blunt Out Of Office responders can still offer some levity or can at least entertain. If you’re looking to spice up your OOO, try this wonderful Wikipedia OOO generator that Melody Joy Kramer and Alex Hollender built. It auto-generates an OOO response with either a link or a quote pulled from Wikipedia. It’s a cool little project and a nice starter template for you when you decide to tell everyone to buzz off and leave you alone for a bit.
Your business is important to us and I will respond to you immediately when I return to work.
True, but maybe the OOO writer has had issues in the past with people needing things while she’s out, incessant following up, not going to the right people, etc. She could also just think it’s funny though.
Unfortunately, I can’t answer your email (even though my office is three feet away). I’ll get back to you once I’m back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge. Bought tickets on TripAdvisor and everything.
Other than that, I keep it simple like most folks here, but back in my younger days I had one that started something like “I am out of the office on vacation until (date). I will not be checking emails, voicemails, (work queue system), or generally thinking about this place at all…”
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Hello, I’m away for the weekend. Back on Wednesday. I’m in [COUNTRY] drinking coffee. Eating lots of food. Should have internet on the evenings to answer the important emails. Please send photos of penguins to Twitter @[HANDLE] to alert me that you’ve sent an email. This is most important.
Thank you for your message. I am currently out of the store on holidays, with no access to email. I will be returning on (insert date).
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It definitely sounds like something my boss would write and I laughed at it. In our work, everyone thinks that they’re a special emergency all the time. Stopping to think “if I don’t have this in the next two days what will the actual consequences be” is a thing that should happen more but doesn’t.
We had someone at my old job whose auto-reply stated that they were at a “White Privilege Conference”. Granted, the conference was about dismantling White Privilege, but to someone outside our work who didn’t know that, I imagine that got quite the reaction!
Thank you for your email. I am currently on furlough indefinitely and will not be checking email during this time. Please reach out to my colleague, Darius Robinson, a project manager at the museum who can answer any questions or help you find the right contact while I’m out. He can be reached at [email protected].
My pet peeves are too much personal information (no need to tell me your cousin had a hysterectomy) and the ones that are carbon dated, e.g. from 2018.