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So, take a lesson from @courtwhip, editor at PEDESTRIAN.TV, who wrote the above hilarious out-of-office email, fully stocked with mentions of the best movies from the 1990s. (By the way, “Splinter” is from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and as we all know, he loves pizza.)

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What makes this a decent example of an OOO message is that it’s candid, (hopefully) honest, and blunt. There’s no guessing whether or not this dude is going to respond to your email this week. Also, it gives us a bit of an insight into his life right now, which helps communication in the moment and in the future. He’s burned out. Even if you did manage to reach him, it’s likely he’d be resentful, even if he didn’t say so. There’s a good chance the sender of the original email will identify with this and respect his time.
“For example, if a hacker knows that the chief financial officer of a company is OOO, thanks to the information in the auto-reply message, an attacker could impersonate the CFO on email and target another individual in the company’s finance team asking them to make a payment or update bank details for them while they are offline,” says Sadler. .

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That’s what always got me! There always seemed to be an air of preemptive defensiveness? I’m definitely reading a lot into it based on other ways this person showed up in the workplace and how they treated others. Also I completely agree that some things are more important than work (!), but there was something about the way these were phrased that made me feel like ……… okay?? I know??? It just felt … performative.
Thank you for your email. I will be out of the office from (day/month) to (day/month) and will have limited access to email. If you have any urgent questions, please contact [Name] at [email] or [phone]. I will do my best to reply to your email as soon as I can.

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Sample voicemail message for office or department: “Thank you for calling The University of Toledo’s (office/department). The University is closed for winter break. Please call back after New Year’s Day or visit our website at (website URL). Thank you and happy holidays.”
Top US General Mark Milley says the Afghan Taliban have not broken their ties with the terrorist group.

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I take advantage of the ability to send different OOO messages to internal or external addresses. Internal addresses get a couple of people to contact if it’s urgent, usually my direct report and my backup person, since between them they can cover pretty much everything I do, or at least they’ll know who can. External addresses get a more general notice: “I am temporarily out of the office. If your message is regarding the Llama Care project and requires a prompt response from our Llama Grooming Team, please make sure that [email protected] is one of the recipients of your message.” Probably not the most elegant phrasing, but we have a distribution list for this very reason. Even requests that they know only I handle are supposed to go to the LG list.

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As a matter of courtesy – and to give you the peace of mind needed to be present wherever you are going (either away from the office or on vacation) – you should send each of your clients a simple email to let them know you’ll be away. Below I’ve offered some sample text for to you use as a template. Feel free to make it a TextExpander snippet, Gmail canned response, or whatever. Just use it (or something like it). Please.

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    Thanks for your email. I’m currently attending [insert event, conference etc here], and will return on [date of return].

    So that we can all spend valuable time with our families, this Thanksgiving and the following Friday will be paid holidays for all employees. Enjoy the long weekend!
    So far it only works for texts, and both my customized reply and the URGENT (annoying) language is sent back with every auto-text. Phone calls are NOT answered unless I let my routine vm pick it up, which I will. If I turn off the phone, it does not work (which would be great if it did, like an auto-email) and if I turn my phone off and on, I must RE-SET the DND. Still better than nothing. I have a 7plus

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    Switching between apps to get things done will break the continuum of work. Working on records in the CRM and collaborating on other apps simultaneously ...

    By now, your neighbourhood supermarket is probably already blasting the classic Christmas tunes, your favourite colleagues are on vacation many miles away, and you’re counting down the days till you get to clear your annual leave 😏
    That said, be careful with messages that are this curt. Make sure you're familiar enough with your audience — and your boss, for that matter — to know that this sort of out-of-office message will be met with a snicker, and not with annoyance.

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    Thanks for calling [Company Name]. Our offices are currently closed. Our business hours are from Monday to Friday 9 AM to 8 PM Eastern Time, and Saturday 9 AM to 12 PM Eastern. If you would like to leave a message in our general voice mailbox, press 1. A representative will contact you the following business day. To reach our company directory, press 2. For business hours and directions to our office, press 3. You may also email us at [company email]. For more information about our products and services, please visit us at [website]. To repeat this message, press the * key. 7. Direct Customers to Your Account Login Page

    Of course, I had one POTENTIAL cient who got the “I’m in court and can’t call you back” repeatedly calling and demanding to know why I wasn’t calling him back. Like “I;m IN COURT DUDE. The JUDGE takes precedence over you.” He really expected me to tell the judge to take a recesss so I could call him back. I eventually got back to him with an email “I think you might be better off with another attorney.”
    My European colleagues get an extended summer holiday all at the same time, which means we get OOO notes like this:

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    Click the File tab at the top-left corner of the Outlook display. Click the box to Automatic Replies box to the immediate left of the Automatic Replies (Out of Office) text. In the Automatic Replies box that appears, click the circle to the left of the Send automatic replies option.

    As you probably already know, sitting down all day at work can be harmful for your health – especially if you’re not exercising outside of work. But don’t worry, there are plenty of exercises designed for those who are struggling to combine a busy work life as well as a fitness regime. Is staff productivity impeded by a dated office design?
    You’ve been busy planning out your tasks, tying up loose ends, and working ahead to ensure you can disconnect, recharge, and relax over your holiday break.

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If you need immediate assistance during my absence, please contact [contact’s name] at [contact’s email address]. Otherwise, I will respond to your emails as soon as possible when I return.

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Then, all that’s left to do is turn it on before you abandon your desk, and get prepared for a relaxing holiday break—without feeling the need to be constantly tethered to your inbox.

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Honest communication, even in the form of an email auto reply, is a roadmap. It helps people understand how best to help you and, in turn, allows them to better help themselves. Straightforward expectation setting is a way to be respectful of your coworkers’ time and pressures, but most importantly, it’s a way to be respectful of and guard your time. Even if you don’t feel an intense need to be more open in your workplace correspondence, consider modeling the behavior for others who work with you or, especially, those who work for you. It’s a small change in behavior but it’s a meaningful one. And this summer is the perfect time to start.

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Most of what I’m describing (as well as boyd) boils down to examples of clear, honest, communication. While it sounds simple, such openness is extremely rare in the workplace. It is rare because, especially with time off, this type of communication requires the sender to be vulnerable, to cede control, and/or to be assertive and frank about one’s needs.

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