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This is hilarious. I always read those kinds of efficiency hacks and think “wow, I wish I had the kind of job that let me set hard, weird boundaries for myself that inconvenience everyone else,” and now I learn that I apparently could have just asserted it without it being appropriate at all.
I just want short and sweet. Mine says, “I will be out of the office until X Date. If you need assistance before then, please contact my department at [email protected] or (000)000-0000. I will reply to messages when I return.” .

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I have nothing against part-time staff. But, if they only work until 4 PM until 5 PM, then the OOTO replies aren’t as helpful. If we had staff that only worked on certain days, then knowing that it may be more than one business day before a reply would be useful.
For those of you arguing that entrepreneurs and salespeople must always be available, I present to you Exhibit A. While this is specific to Yesware (and you should check out their other OOO examples), it's easy enough to tweak to fit your industry.

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I apologise for this blunt email, yet feel I must warn customers and shareholders to divest yourself of any interests you hold in this company as the **** is about to hit the fan.
Not every vacation you take is going to leave you completely unreachable. For those days when you’re out of the office but are still checking and responding to email or phone calls, make sure your message explicitly states that people will still be able to reach you, and how:

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German vehicle-maker Daimler has an innovative approach to holiday email, which many people about to return from holiday may well wish their company would copy, writes William Kremer.

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I actually stopped changing my VM and out of office right before I left, bc I just did’nt care anymore lol. This was only one of a number of things that this company did that was bonkers.

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    That’s it. That’s all. Simple and to the point, this message will let people know that you can’t respond to messages.

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    Every business is unique. There’s no one single best way to tell your clients that you’re not going to be around for the next few days (weeks or months). But there’s also no denying that whatever out of office message you use right now, you could always improve it.

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    I have gotten weird pushback on this that people are offended that I would say I am out for religious observance, as if it somehow implies that my reason for being out of the office is more important (or inviolable) than theirs. I don’t even know what to do with that.

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    Total and utter cringe! Sounds like something a cheeky 11th grader would think is the epitome of word smithing. If someone sent this out at my work everyone would make fun of them and HR would make them change the message.

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    Hi, Our store will be closed until the end of the week for Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year]. We are happy to inform you that all of your emails will be answered once we are back on [date]. Kind regards.

    About the “overshares”: You linked to a previous column that mentioned this point, “Sometimes the over-sharing of plans can even come across as suspect — similar to how when someone’s calling in sick with genuine illness, they usually just say, ‘I’m going to be out sick,’ but fakers will generally give you a long list of overly specific symptoms, like they feel they have to convince you.”
    Thanks for your email. I will be away from the office until September 13th and will respond as soon as I can.

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    While the above is almost certainly a dramatisation, getting your out-of-office message right over the holiday period is arguably as important as all other facets of business. Cashflow? Investments? Who needs ’em when you’ve got an auto-response that’ll make people chortle!

    Help your users know when to expect a response. It’s easy to show customers your team’s availability and let them know when they can get assistance from your team. You can manage their expectations by setting your office hours and expected response time.
    First, here’s the out-of-message for people who don’t like watching video (although the person in the video is funny and really brings the message to life):

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After one negative service experience, 51% of customers will never do business with that company again. Hence, delivering excellent service is the most important part of customer retention strategies. Auto reply messages are the best ways to maintain a transparent connection with your clientele.

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In the time before your vacation, remind all of the co-workers on your team that you will be gone for the specific dates while also making sure to note your vacation on all internal company calendars. People are busy and can forget things, especially if those things are not happening regularly. You might have shared that you will be gone two months ago, but it’s something your colleagues may have forgotten. So, don’t neglect to remind everyone, because there might be some problems if that happens. Miscommunication is something that can be easily avoided, as in this specific case.

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Hi and thank you for your message. I’ll be out of the office on [DATE]. Please contact my manager, [EMAIL] for assistance.

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Hi, I’m out of the office. Thank you for getting in touch. We’ll get back to you within 8 business hours.

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