Hello, you have reached [Company Name]. To continue in English, press 1, for Spanish, press 2. (Wait for customer to enter an option.) You’ve reached the main menu. To reach a staff member by name, please press 1. For sales inquiries, press 2. For technical support, press 3. To place a purchase order, press 4. For accounting, press 5. To find a store location near you, please press 6. Press 0 to speak with a representative. 4. Product-Focused
I’ll be sure to reply to your message when I wade through my inbox upon my return. If your message is time-sensitive, please send an email to [Contact Name] at [contact email].
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So, take a lesson from @courtwhip, editor at PEDESTRIAN.TV, who wrote the above hilarious out-of-office email, fully stocked with mentions of the best movies from the 1990s. (By the way, “Splinter” is from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and as we all know, he loves pizza.)
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I’ve seen that from vendors. Sorry, you’re not the only shop in town and if you can’t be bothered I’m using my power of my dollar and noping away from your company.
The worst one I ever received was from a coworker (senior to me, but not my manager) many years ago. I’ll paraphrase it as my memory isn’t great:
Tested to/from 2 iPhones (1 personal/1 work phone) and neither of them receive the designated Auto Reply Text. What am I doing wrong?
One of the most important tasks is to set up an auto-response system that notifies your
Hi. Our office will remain closed for Christmas. We assure you that all your emails will be answered as soon as we return to the office. Merry Christmas!
Dear Customer, Please note that all company offices will be closed from [date]. We will reopen on [date] We wish you the best holiday. Regards, [Company name]
My coworker went out on disability for surgery and left an ominous OOO saying she would be out and did not have a return date, multiple people contacted me bc they were freaked out. The message suggested people reach out to me in her absence and spelled my name wrong, we’ve been working together for 4 years.
6. Year in review. When preparing their marketing campaigns, most marketers focus on what they’ve got prepared for their customers. Their blow out sale, free delivery, contest, or new line of products.
But it seems a bit too chock full of dismissive, thinky veiled put-downs really. I wouldn’t want to work for someone would lump the people who work for them as competent humans (oh-em-gee, thanks), is that the best they can do to describe people? Oh wait….they look out for her (is she a princess) and each other (should I start applauding now?). No one needs to call me or anyone else a rock star, best teapot decorator in the multiverse, or amazing humans all the time but the best she could crank out was competent + humans. I get the attempt to be witty but it’s really sad that she isn’t more generous.
The one exception: When I was out for a week and a half on my wedding/honeymoon, I included something about “Additionally, I am out of office getting married, so shortly after my return my name will change from Red Bookworm to Red Reader.”
Dear Customer, Our office is closed and you can expect to hear back from me by [date]. Have a great holiday! Regards [Name/signature]
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I have always said that I’m taking annual leave so that still applies for me – but that’s pretty standard for my company.