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Thanks for your email. I’m currently out of the office, returning on [date]. I’ll respond to your message then.

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I have a coworker who has an “always-on” autoreply stating that she “is busy with client meetings during the day” and therefore only checks emails at 9am and 3pm. I understand wanting to set the expectation that people won’t get an immediate response, but it really baffles me. If you are still able to respond within 24 hours, why does anyone need this information? To me it feels like some weird self-help tip or power move that they read somewhere that serves no actual function.
I thought it was cute and could tell that the person writing it probably spent a lot of time on the road and needed a shorthand for updating their message. .

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Scared of offending a coworker who may or may not celebrate the holidays? Worry not — I’ve got the perfect email for you. If this OOO message does anything particularly well, it’s that it respects the differing views, religions, traditions, and opinions of your coworkers — while amusing so many others.

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Thank them for their email. Even though you're not actually responding to the email, you still need to mind your Ps and Qs. After your greeting, add "Thanks for your email."
22. "Hi, you've reached [your name, the office of X company]. We're closed until [date]. Please leave your name and phone number and someone will return your call ASAP. Have a great [New Year's, Fourth of July, etc.]."

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I’d just stick with “I will be OOO without access to phone or email from XX/YY to XX/YY, returning on XX/YY.” And then whatever directions for directing to your support/backup while you are out. I find that specifically saying ‘without access to phone or email’ sets a good expectation of non-response.

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I was recently on the receiving end of a very perplexing out of office message. It simply said, “I am currently out of the office.” No indication of when they would be back or who to contact in the meantime. Fortunately in my case this was someone I cc’ed on an email as an FYI and did not need any response from, but still–who does that? IMO a good out of office message says how long you’re out and who to contact in the interim if things can’t wait, no more and no less.

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    I’ve had several co-workers over the years use “at my earliest convenience” and it’s always rubbed me the wrong way. It just sounds kind of dismissive like, “I don’t care when you need it, I’ll get to it when I get to it.”

    'The very fact you were content to type out your query long hand and settle back to wait for a reply suggests you can wait' (Credit: Getty Images)
    This is so funny to be because I would chuckle getting those! You have personal context which is how you know that there is an aggeressive/accusatory tone….but without that context I would interpret these as boundaried and light-hearted. (With the exception of the ‘momtears’ one, that would feel overly personal to me.)

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    Oh hey, It’s Christmas, what are you doing emailing me? I’m extremely busy watching Home Alone, Die Hard, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Christmas Special on repeat until the new year. I might stop for food and toilet breaks, I also might now. Regardless of my general health and hygiene over the silly season, I’ll be back in office on January nd. Catch ya then, don’t forget to buy a pepperoni pizza for Splinter.

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    Now that you know what you should and shouldn’t include, how do you go about crafting the perfect out-of-office vacation message?

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    I just say “following my return to the office” because saying “as soon as possible” isn’t actually when I’m going to respond — I may have other priorities when I get back that take precedence over responding to a week old email that wasn’t important enough for them to contact my backup. That said, it doesn’t bother me when other people do it!

    However, I will be taking periodic breaks from binge-watching everything I’ve missed to check my email [once per day/every evening/occasionally] while I’m away.
    To increase productivity as a small business, your strategy shouldn’t be working harder for longer hours at the cost of your health and leisure time. Success comes with working smarter and taking advantage of tools, resources and adjustment of the day to day running, to achieve a more effective... 10 Best Vegan Lunch Box Recipes For The Office

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    Website: https://www.mightycall.com/blog/thanksgiving-voicemail-greetings-for-business/

    until you have the client who calls, lvm, then when they don’t call back in an hour emails to complain they can never get hold of you.
    By now, your neighbourhood supermarket is probably already blasting the classic Christmas tunes, your favourite colleagues are on vacation many miles away, and you’re counting down the days till you get to clear your annual leave 😏

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No difference! “I’ll be out of the office” is what I use. I find “away from my desk” a little too available, as if I’m only out for an appointment, but I think either one works.

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To make sure your email doesn’t get lost in a sea of messages please resend it on September 20th. If your message is urgent you can contact [contact’s name] on [contact’s email].

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I know I’m supposed to say that I’ll have limited access to email and won’t be able to respond until I return — but that’s not true. My blackberry will be with me and I can respond if I need to. And I recognize that I’ll probably need to interrupt my vacation from time to time to deal with something urgent.

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Hi, Thanks for your email. You can expect a response when I return on [MM/DD]. Please contact [name] at [email] or [phone] for anything urgent. While you’re waiting, here’s something I made for you: [blogpost, ebook, brochure, checklist, etc.] I hope [name of thing] makes your day a little easier.

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