16) I am currently out of the office and probably out-of-my-mind drunk. Enjoy your workweek.
I managed to get through 9-month contract roles at two different workplaces without ever setting up voicemail. Even though they were not phone-oriented workplaces I’m a little surprised I got away with that! Interestingly, in all that time only one person ever noticed and said something.
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Who hasn’t longed to write something similarly huffy? Well, LA-based designer Paul Woods, for one. Woods is also the author of How to Do Great Work Without Being An Asshole and suggests opening your OOO with this: “Dear sender, As you are already aware, I am on vacation. However, as it appears that you have flagrantly ignored the numerous emails, in-person conversations and messages over the past week communicating this, below you can find a detailed recap what I will not be doing until my return…” It’s a recap that extends to wearing clothes, even in public, and moderating his consumption of hard liquor.
i’m just waiting for the inevitable “Believe it or not, ___ isn’t at work. where could i beeee?” a la Seinfeld
The funny and charming email template below keeps the confidence of your colleagues with a list of things anyone who works in an office is thankful for. Of course, feel free to customize this list according to the quirks of your own workplace. Thanksgiving is the perfect time to reveal them.
When I tweeted this, some people argued that the pollster above was using his wife as an excuse. This might be true (and, if so, is probably a bad defense mechanism from some of the work culture habits described earlier). Another possible explanation is that the pollster is telling the truth — his inability to try and balance a vacation with some light work time built in is understandably frustrating and exhausting to those around him.
Education Details: I will be checking my voicemail messages periodically, so please leave me a message and I will return your call as soon as possible. If you need immediate assistance, please contact my assistant, Suzy Jones at 1-800-555-1212 extension 6336. Hi, this is Jim Smith. I will be out of the office and returning Monday, April 21.
Dear Customer, Thank you for your email, but our company is out of office, celebrating [HOLIDAY]. Unfortunately, it means we will not be able to send you any reply until [DATE]. We apologize for the delay but wish you a wonderful holiday season. Best regards.
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Dear Customer, Thank you for your email Inquiry, Our office closed is closed celebrating [HOLIDAY]. We will not be able to respond to your email until [date]. Apologize for the delay. We wish you a wonderful holiday season. Best regards.
A) Trying not to roll my eyes at this year’s new batch of corny holiday movies (which all seem to follow the same plot)
My favorite OOO to set is something like this: “I’m at sea from X to Y with very limited bandwidth. I’ll reply to urgent emails as soon as possible (but there may be a delay); if you don’t hear back from me by Z, please resend you message.”
I wish I could block my voicemail. I would so get fired if I had a message like this and was caught, though.
21. "Hello, you've reached [your name, the office of X company]. The team is currently out of the office, but we'll be back on [date] stuffed with good food and eager to speak with you. Leave your name, number, and — if you're so inclined — your favorite [holiday dish, Thanksgiving tradition, etc.]"
The marketing tactics of businesses should be focused on customizing the client experience to make each interaction meaningful and valuable. Personalizing your automated replies makes your customers feel good (if you do it right) because it helps you say something that’s actually helpful and targeted.
Who talks like that? A blowhard, that’s who… I promise, gentle customer, you won’t hear garbage like that from me. I’ll tell you why I like Aviation… Because it tastes like somebody finally made a gin for everyone.