I don’t set my voicemail message, either. If you have the number, you know me. I think my last voicemail message on my personal cellular phone years ago was not even in English. Again, if you knew me, you’d more than half expect it.
Huh. This is a rare column from you that I disagree with almost entirely. I guess to start with what I think you get right, there's no need to apologize for being out of office, and no one should feel obligated to deal with anything other than a legitimate emergency (which are, in most fields, truly rare) while on vacation or while taking time off.

Same, I think it’s patronizing to talk people through their options as if they can’t make a decent choice without having their hand held every step of the way. There are plenty of people who can’t, of course, but I don’t think a long, verbose message is necessarily going to help.
A. A limited crew will be available to clear walks and surface lots should there be severe weather during this time to help ensure the safety of those few individuals who must be on campus. However, these services will be limited and campus-wide plowing and maintenance will not be done to the full extent as when offices are open and classes are in session.