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i’m just waiting for the inevitable “Believe it or not, ___ isn’t at work. where could i beeee?” a la Seinfeld

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This is how my voicemails to my doctor’s office, my son’s doctor’s office, his daycare, etc. all go. Actually, the few times I leave voicemails beyond that, this is how they go.
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voicemail greeting when working remotely

If you’ll be away for a portion of time observing a holiday, create a cheerful auto-reply in your absence! Instead of my phone, it’s the jingle bells that will be ringing until 1/2; I will be out of office until then, please expect a reply with 24 hours of my return. I’m leaving on a jet plane! The Stern Firm will be out of the office until 3/4 on a company-wide retreat. We will respond to all messages promptly upon return.
Businesses rely on delivering excellent examples of automated reply messages to manage customer expectations and make them feel valued. However, it is recommended to follow the key ideas for creating professional auto reply messages to provide instant communication.

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I will surely respond to your email when I’m back in the office. But, if this requires an immediate response, please resend any messages that require my immediate attention with a subject line of “URGENT: [Original Subject]”.
Being a responsible netizen or professional in the Internet age also means leaving useful clues and messages for your email correspondents whenever you will be out of reach temporarily or permanently. Remember that your email correspondents expect you to respond within minutes or, at most, 24 hours of receiving their emails unless specifically stated in the email that you are free to respond much later.

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Don’t you wish you were here? I’m snorkeling, deep sea fishing, and doing all the touristy stuff for the entire week starting Monday, November 12th. I won’t be responding to calls or emails until I return on Monday, November 19th.

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In this image, you're letting people know you're OOO with a "Missing" notice on a milk carton. Genius. Just be careful — this sort of autoresponder is best for internal emails, not for autoresponders that get sent to prospects and clients.

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    Website: https://newoldstamp.com/blog/how-to-choose-a-perfect-christmas-banner-for-email-signature/

    When I return from a break, I talk to the people who have acted in my stead and get the rundown of what happened/what needs to still be done. That’s part of my whole “back to work triage”.
    24. "Thank you for calling [company]. We're closed for [holiday] from [date] until [date]. Please leave your message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a happy holiday season!"

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    Now, make sure you take care of the additional settings for DND and turn off “Scheduled.” Make sure the phone can set on DND mode “Always,” otherwise you can expect some calls while the phone is not locked, which may ruin your vacation.
    If you’re interested in our [product/service]. Great! Read what our customers are saying about how awesome their experience has been – https://www.g2.com/products/nethunt-crm/reviews

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    9. "Hey, this is [your name]. Thanks for reaching out. I'm busy at the moment, but if you leave your name, number, and message, I'll return your call.”

    One nice compromise I’ve seen is that some people add upcoming PTO to their email signature for a week or two beforehand. That way the people you’re working with right then get a heads up without needing to spam everyone with the information.
    Thank you for your message. I am currently out of the office, with no email access. I will be returning on (insert date).

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    The problem with that is people just don’t look at your signature. Whereas they are reasonably likely to notice the OOO message in the email subject header.

    In your case it’s actually related to your work! WHOMST would not like a cute pet picture, what a bonus?!
    Take note of this holiday checklist so you are prepared for the Christmas wind down. Remember that your office is your and your employees’ second home. Having these precautions done will give everyone a stress-free holiday break.

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I’ll be back in the office on 7/19 and will happily respond then. Have a great weekend! Holiday Out-of-Office Messages 10. “Holiday revelry and debauchery ahead. Proceed with caution (if you dare).”

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Uh… until when? Who should I contact in the meantime? Also, at the time of my emailing this person it was March, so I had to assume that OOO was from last year?! I finally learned that the person had left to another job. So many questions.

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I’m currently out of the office between [DATES], as I’m attending the yearly WordCamp. Perhaps you will also be there, and we can meet in person.

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Plus the world of technology has moved on from answering machines (which is all voice mail is) so… nice vintage projector you got there

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