The one from “Central Intelligence” with the Rock that I love is is (paraphrasing) :
I once worked somewhere that required an all-office email if you were going to be late, if you had an appointment, etc. I hated that. No one needed to know I was going to the dentist, but it was policy so I did it.
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If you are checking emails while you’re out and are responding slower than normal, state that, suggests Jill Gugino Panté, director of the Lerner Career Services Center at the University of Delaware. “If you don’t have access to email and can’t return messages, state that as well,” she says. “The clearer you are in your messaging, the better.”
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Don’t forget all our offices will be closed for the Public Holidays this Thursday date. [Company name] will be closed to celebrate [Holiday name] and we will resume normal operation on [date]
Alternatively, some people will check their email while on vacation. Then, the text should indicate how often people may expect their email to be seen and acted upon.
The science fiction writer John Scalzi says “The failure mode of clever is asshole,” which seems to apply here.
While this sounds kind of onerous, I don’t think it’s actually a bad idea to say “I don’t have this info but I’ll get back to you when I find out” if it’s going to take a while.
Don’t forget our office and Contact Centre will be closed tomorrow; [date], for the public holiday. You can still use our internet banking, mobile app and phone banking during this time.
It’s my favorite time of year, which means I’m currently away from my inbox chugging mugs of cocoa, stuffing my face with cookies, and attempting to fulfill my life-long goal of memorizing every single line of [your favorite holiday movie].
I am out for eye surgery on Monday 24th May and will have one eye covered. All going well I should be fine shortly after, however reading long emails or longer periods of screen-facing work will take some effort.
Then, click Save Changes at the bottom of the settings section and that's it done. You're out of office message is active.
You can also schedule your auto replies ahead to send at a specific time for a set it and forget it solution.
Way too long, but so hilarious. I don’t get condescending at all. I’m drooling while imagining I had this on my work phone when everyone thought their requests were life or death. Actually, I wanted my message to say, “I realize you think your request is vitally important, but I’d like to reassure you: I worked in a hospital years ago, and good news! It’s really not.”