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The only thing that isn’t boilerplate in mine is the inclusion of “But what if I have a word emergency?” before the who to contact stuff. I removed it at one point and people asked me to put it back in because it made them smile. And yep, we’re writers so the only emergencies we deal with are ones related to words.

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I work at an animal shelter and I have included a picture of an adoptable pet when I’m on vacation – I don’t know if that comes across as annoying or not, what do you think? Basically, it’s “I’m out until X and I’ll return your message when I get back. In the meantime, take a look at Fluffiekins here (picture, link to bio). Will she be adopted before I return?”
Save time and direct folks to a page with answers to frequently asked questions in an autoresponse to help sort and prioritize customer service inquiries. Thanks for reaching SimpleTexting, my name is Jenny. While you wait for a customer support rep, see if we can answer your question here https://txt.st/PQBLPE. .

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A) Trying not to roll my eyes at this year’s new batch of corny holiday movies (which all seem to follow the same plot)
I greatly value your email and I will read it as soon as I return to my desk. Still, if you require immediate assistance, please get in touch with[Alternate Name] at [alternate email].

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On the funnier side, my vacations tend to be trips to either see my favorite band in far flung places or going to conventions for my hobby, so for a while I added a checklist at the end of my OOO that said:
Thank you for your email. I’m away from my desk until [return date] trying to corral my kids between family visits and holiday sugar highs.

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I suppose I’d rather know that and be able to factor it in to my schedule, irritating as it is, than not know and get caught by the month-long delay.

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    I am in [COUNTRY] [DATE] to [DATE] so email replies may be tardy due to the curvature of the earth and the sun. Thank you.
    There’s nothing worse than dreading a return from being away from the desk. After all, you’re likely to have an overflowing email inbox left untended while you were on vacation. Sending out this one email before you go anywhere for an extended period of time will help lessen that feeling.

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    Plus, he incorporated a delightful technique to let people know that if they really wanted him to read their emails, they should probably send them again after his return. Not only does that keep the sender accountable by saying, “If this is really important, you know when to reach me,” but it also helps him truly vacate his work while he’s away. And that’s hard to do. First, travel to my homeland of Florida. Climb to the highest peak of the tallest mountain. Find a rare flower (no specifics, of course… It’d be cheating). Put the flower back, because as the old hiking rule goes, “Leave everything as you found it.”

    If it’s anything less than a business day, it just becomes this extra beacon of our completely toxic and out of whack work culture that insists we be reachable every second.
    Oct 29, 2019 · If you want to give a toast to all your awesome employees this Thanksgiving, consider throwing an office celebration to show your appreciation. Because Thanksgiving is as much about the festivities as giving thanks, we think the big day should be filled with everything from acts of generosity to games and delicious catering.

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    Exactly! This may be the type of person who hears a phrase that sounds polite when referring to another, but mangles it and uses it to refer to themself so it becomes the opposite of polite.

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    The only thing I add to that boilerplate is if I’m working but mostly unavailable.

    I’m on vacation until July 18th. If you need to reach me, here’s what you’ll need to do: First, travel to my homeland of Florida. Climb to the highest peak of the tallest mountain. Find a rare flower (no specifics, of course... It’d be cheating). Put the flower back, because as the old hiking rule goes, “Leave everything as you found it.”
    She may want to talk to her IT folks to see if they can help her switch this around.

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Our senior leadership has admitted to not checking voicemails since we started working remotely…almost 15 months ago. It made me feel so good. I hate voicemail.

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Hello! Thanks for getting in touch. I’m out of the office until [DATE] with limited access to email. But never fear! I’ve left you with some helpful writing tips to read and share.

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By which I mean to say: I’m on holiday, I’m definitely sunburnt, and I’m sorry I missed your email.

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I think I started following that Tiktok account after this video and, if I recall correctly, the OOO writer is an SVP who is trying to reset a company culture that has very little work/life balance. I always liked it, but that background info made me love it that much more.

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