Who hasn’t longed to write something similarly huffy? Well, LA-based designer Paul Woods, for one. Woods is also the author of How to Do Great Work Without Being An Asshole and suggests opening your OOO with this: “Dear sender, As you are already aware, I am on vacation. However, as it appears that you have flagrantly ignored the numerous emails, in-person conversations and messages over the past week communicating this, below you can find a detailed recap what I will not be doing until my return…” It’s a recap that extends to wearing clothes, even in public, and moderating his consumption of hard liquor.
Notice of Office Closure for Holiday for Whole Day/ Early Closing. It is always advisable that the notice of any holiday, when the office will remain closed, should be given well in advance - so that no employee is put to inconvenience of coming to the office on a day when it is closed.

I will be away from (Date) until (Return Date). For urgent matters, you can contact (Contact Person).
Note that the poaching email does not have any other contact details other than the leaver's - this is to try and funnel all enquiries to the leaver as part of the poaching plan! More tips here.